Posts Tagged ‘feeling overwhelmed’

Can’t Get Started?

Thursday, May 12th, 2016

Swimmers get startedSometimes, the hardest part of getting where you want to go isn’t staying on the path and it isn’t finishing. It’s how to get started.

When I work with private clients, we frequently make a weekly plan of action to get them started on their weight loss journey. This plan might cover areas like eating, movement, mindset, self-care and overcoming any upcoming challenges. Together, we set goals in these areas.

Often my clients will come back the following week with some of their goals accomplished.

Of course, this is good.

Other times, my clients will return to our next session with none of their goals accomplished. They report feeling ‘overwhelmed’ and unable to make any movement at all.

This too, is good.

How can that be?

When you find yourself unable to do what you know you want to do, it could mean several things.

It could mean that you have made your steps too big.

Like trying to go from eating MacDonald’s daily to eating only organic vegan.

While that example seems obvious, many of us set the bar too high, too fast when trying to accomplish anything. We think about what seems reasonable to do and we disregard where we are starting from.

That leads to overwhelm.

And overwhelm leads to inaction.

Being unable to get started can also be looked at as your own personal barometer.

You might even consider it a blessing!

Although it may feel frustrating when you can’t get started on something you want to do, it may be because you have conflicting beliefs about what you are attempting.

When you want to change a habit, think about what you believe about your current habit.

If your main belief about changing that habit is that it’s really hard, and because you’ve never done it before it’s not likely you will succeed, then you will unconsciously work to prove yourself right.

But what’s great about this roadblock is that it gives you a chance to unearth those beliefs that prevent you from getting started, and gives you the opportunity to replace them with beliefs that will help you.

Another possibility that might hold you back from getting started on something that you really want is the payoff you are getting from NOT changing the old habit.

Yes, even with some behavior you really want to change, and are so mad and frustrated with yourself for doing, there’s something you’re getting out of it.

For example, if your goal is to plan your meals and shop so you have what you need in the house when you need it, when you don’t plan and shop, the payoff might be: 1) you get to spend that time doing something else, 2) you get to eat like you have been, without really thinking, or 3) you get to avoid confronting yourself and seeing what comes up when you do something new and uncomfortable.

If you can’t get started on something that you really want, think about these questions:

  • Why do you want this?
  • Is this reason really compelling?
  • How will it make you feel if you can achieve this goal?
  • Does it feel right in your gut?
  • Have you broken your steps down into small enough bites?
  • What beliefs might be holding you back?

Now, take the tiniest, baby step.

That step might be so small that you don’t think it’s worth mentioning.

But it is.

And all those baby steps will add up.

Right now, I hear some mumbling about how long things will take with these tiny baby steps.

Time will pass at the same rate, whether you take these steps or not. But if you do, you will inevitably get where you want to go.

Take one step today.

Dare To Be Mediocre

Wednesday, March 30th, 2016

mediocreRecently, one of my favorite clients came to me with a bad case of overwhelm. She was in graduate school in an accelerated program, caring for her family, working in her own business and was responsible for all the other little details of life that fill our days to the brim.

She happens to be super-capable, and very smart, so she naturally expected herself to be getting A’s in all her graduate courses.

Naturally.

The problem with this was that it would require enormous amounts of study time that she chose to give to other things, like seeing her kids and her husband and sleeping. Working. Caring for herself. To name a few.

So, what I proposed was what one of my own professors in graduate school proposed to me: Dare to be mediocre.

What! This was the antithesis of everything I believed.

Be your best.

Always do your best.

Strive for excellence.

Never stop trying.

Relax.

I’m not saying ‘Don’t care! Do sloppy work! Whatever!’

(By the way, I’m too old to say ‘whatever!’)

What I am saying and what I had to learn myself is this:

Life is short.

We have to pick and choose where we spend our precious time and attention. If you’d like to learn more about focus and where you choose to put yours, listen to my podcast Weight Loss Made Real, Episode 12, right here. <insert link to that podcast please on my website>

So not everything can net you a perfect result.

The best.

An A+.

For this client, it meant striving for a B+ instead of her usual A.

Does that mean you don’t care about what you produce? Or your route? Or your end result?

NO.

You care very much.

But you are being intentionally picky.

You’re giving yourself permission to do ‘OK’ work in some areas of life.

Sometimes you’ll excel.

Sometimes you won’t.

But I’ll bet if you give yourself this permission to be mediocre sometimes, in some areas, you’ll surely enjoy the journey a lot more.

Try it.

And let me know.

Episode 10: Where to Start on Your Weight Loss Journey: Conquer Your Overwhelm and Perfectionism

Tuesday, March 8th, 2016

Episode 10: Where to Start on Your Weight Loss Journey: Conquer Your Overwhelm and Perfectionism

Overwhelm Podcast 10

It’s more common than you think to be filled with feelings of overwhelm when you begin an eating program. When you’re working on your body, your mind and your self-care, it may seem like there are so many moving parts to this project that it’s hard to know where to begin.

What happens then is the dreaded ‘overwhelm’, which may lead you to giving up, right at the beginning!

Another common roadblock you may encounter on the way to weight loss is perfectionism. This too can derail you completely, causing you to stop pursuing your goals. Sad, isn’t it? Especially when there’s a solution.

Here’s what our coaching session will cover today:

  • What is overwhelm and how do you create it?
  • What does overwhelm lead you to do?
  • How can you play an active role in feeling something much better than ‘overwhelm’?
  • What is perfectionism?
  • If you’ve always leaned toward perfectionism, are you doomed to keep repeating this habit?
  • How do you want to feel if your goal is to do what’s right, without forcing yourself?
  • Hear my own story about deprivation and perfectionism: I used to blame my hubby!
  • What to put your focus on when starting any weight program.
  • Why taking the tiniest steps is better than making your goals too large.

I hope you enjoy this episode!


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The Freedom Group – Here’s How You Can Work With Me!

Do you struggle to lose weight or stop eating emotionally? If you do, click here to learn how The Freedom Group can help.

The Freedom Group is a comprehensive, structured coaching program with me as your coach and a group of like-minded women who will help you reach your goals. We use my unique EAT, THINK, LOVE program to help you lose weight, change how you eat, and lose the whole problem!

Enrollment will open soon, so get on the waiting list and be the first to know when weíre accepting new members. This is a monthly membership and you can stay as long as you wish. Iíd love to work with you in the Freedom Group.


Podcast Study Guide

The Weight Loss Made Real Podcast Study Guide was created to support you on your weight loss journey. If you enjoy my podcast and want help taking what you hear and putting it into real life action, youíll love this workbook!

Collection 1 is all about Episodes 1 ñ 52, and it contains these great features:

  • Easy-to-read summaries of all the main, most important concepts from each podcast episode.
  • Room for you to take notes that are relevant to you and your life, right there alongside the summary notes.
  • A direct link to each episode for your reference and so you can easily listen while you read the summaries.
  • An action step for each episode, plus links to additional resources mentioned are embedded right into the notes so you can easily access them, if desiredÖ and much more!

Get all the details and purchase your copy today.


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Ask Cookie: ‘How Can I Get Myself Back On Track After The Holidays?’

Thursday, January 5th, 2012

Dear Cookie,

Woman writing after the holidays to Ask CookieThe holidays have come and gone and now I’m in the place I’m in every January: trying to lose weight!

I really want to do this, but I’ve learned that making a resolution hasn’t worked for me. At least, not in any lasting way.

I still have hope that I CAN do this, but I don’t know how to begin so that this year, I might actually be successful.

Any ideas?
B.G.

Dear B.G.,

First, I’m so glad you wrote and asked your question, because so many women are wondering the same after the holidays thing.

Also, congratulations on not giving up on yourself. If anyone in the world has permanently lost excess weight, then you know it’s possible for you. So, let’s figure out the “how” part.

After the Holidays: How and Why

Instead of jumping right in to an eating or exercise plan, I’d like you to spend this next week becoming super-aware of what you are doing now.

Why?

Because you can’t make a lasting change in your life if you don’t know your starting point.

I can hear you saying, “But I know my starting point! I weigh _____.  And I’m not comfortable at this weight.”

Well B.G., it’s not enough to look at your number and try to get your body to move to a different number.

The first thing we need to do is figure out how you got here.

Why you weigh _____.

What created this extra weight?

Then, and only then, can we move on to making changes in how you think, how you feel, what you do and how you do it.

If you don’t take the time to discover why you gained weight in the first place, jumping in and losing will get you a very temporary result.

So, I want you to look at three things:

1) As you go through your day and week, notice and WRITE DOWN every little habit you have that is taking you further away from your weight loss goal.

No judgments allowed.

Just notice.

2) Also notice and list any positive habits you have that you’d like to do more of. (I know you have some!) What are you doing that if you increased and expanded, would take you in the right direction?

3) And last, what are some positive habits you currently aren’t doing at all, but know that if you added them into your life, change would happen?

Start here.

Don’t just think about this.

Go through a week and write it down.

Our next steps will help you take action on what you’ve discovered.

More to come.

xoxo,

Cookie