Posts Tagged ‘eating to hide feelings’

Episode 41: Weight Loss and the Working Woman

Tuesday, October 11th, 2016

Episode 41: Weight Loss and the Working Woman

Are you a woman who works? Maybe you work managing your family, from morning until night. Or perhaps you’re a working woman in an office setting, employed by a company.

Either way, join the ranks. You’re a working woman.

Working Woman Podcast 41

And having seen this in many of my private clients, I would guess there is a real disconnect between who you are all day long, and who you become at night.

Do you hold all things together all day long, only to lapse into emotional eating at the end of the day?

Let me ask you these questions:

Are you aware of the many admirable traits you possess, operating in the world and solving problems all day long?

Have you ever thought about why you’re able to do this and then come home and feel helpless around food at night?

Let me show you a simple perspective shift. I want you to see your skills and use those skills to solve your own personal problem: emotional eating.

  • I will coach you and show you how your day differs from your night.
  • What you’re not seeing about yourself.
  • Why you don’t use your problem solving skills on yourself personally.
  • How to view your emotional eating as a simple project to be taken care of.
  • How to ace this project.
  • What creates the perfect storm in the evening.
  • And what to focus on for the next week.

Together we can figure this out.


Weight Loss Made Real Free Facebook Group

Join my free Facebook group where we will discuss and learn the concepts taught on my podcasts on a deeper level. Join the group here.


The Freedom Group – Here’s How You Can Work With Me!

Do you struggle to lose weight or stop eating emotionally? If you do, click here to learn how The Freedom Group can help.

The Freedom Group is a comprehensive, structured coaching program with me as your coach and a group of like-minded women who will help you reach your goals. We use my unique EAT, THINK, LOVE program to help you lose weight, change how you eat, and lose the whole problem!

Enrollment will open soon, so get on the waiting list and be the first to know when weíre accepting new members. This is a monthly membership and you can stay as long as you wish. Iíd love to work with you in the Freedom Group.


Podcast Study Guide

The Weight Loss Made Real Podcast Study Guide was created to support you on your weight loss journey. If you enjoy my podcast and want help taking what you hear and putting it into real life action, youíll love this workbook!

Collection 1 is all about Episodes 1 ñ 52, and it contains these great features:

  • Easy-to-read summaries of all the main, most important concepts from each podcast episode.
  • Room for you to take notes that are relevant to you and your life, right there alongside the summary notes.
  • A direct link to each episode for your reference and so you can easily listen while you read the summaries.
  • An action step for each episode, plus links to additional resources mentioned are embedded right into the notes so you can easily access them, if desiredÖ and much more!

Get all the details and purchase your copy today.


Gifts and Important Links

Make sure you get your FREE downloadable copy of my Amazon book, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss here: https://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

I always welcome your letters. You may email me with questions and suggestions for podcasts at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

Finally, Iíd so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot!

Here’s how to rate and review on iTunes: https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Episode 40: Why You Overeat When You’re Stressed

Tuesday, October 4th, 2016

Episode 40: Why You Overeat When You’re Stressed

If you’re alive, you have stress. If you have a job, some friends, or maybe some obligations, you have stress.

Stressed Podcast 40

We all have stress in some form or another, and yet we don’t all eat in reaction to it.

Today, I’m going to talk to you about stress and your eating. Or, your overeating, that is.

Do you even know exactly what stress is?

Let’s talk about it and I will show you:

  • What stress is.
  • How it shows up in your life, in your mind and your body.
  • Why you might overeat when you’re feeling stressed.
  • How eating got connected with your moods.
  • What exactly is the mind-body connection?
  • Does eating help you when you’re stressed?
  • Why do some people eat from stress while others lose their appetites?
  • Do you know what your stress eating patterns are?
  • How to stop the habit of overeating when life is too much.
  • Is the goal to eliminate all stress from your life? (Hint: no.)

So we’re going to take a look at what you do when life feels like too much to deal with and the feeling of overwhelm is high.

Is eating inevitable? No.

Join me in this coaching session to learn to recognize your own stress eating patterns and start the process of disconnecting food from mood.


Weight Loss Made Real Free Facebook Group

Join my free Facebook group where we will discuss and learn the concepts taught on my podcasts on a deeper level. Join the group here.


The Freedom Group – Here’s How You Can Work With Me!

Do you struggle to lose weight or stop eating emotionally? If you do, click here to learn how The Freedom Group can help.

The Freedom Group is a comprehensive, structured coaching program with me as your coach and a group of like-minded women who will help you reach your goals. We use my unique EAT, THINK, LOVE program to help you lose weight, change how you eat, and lose the whole problem!

Enrollment will open soon, so get on the waiting list and be the first to know when we’re accepting new members. This is a monthly membership and you can stay as long as you wish. I’d love to work with you in the Freedom Group.


Podcast Study Guide

The Weight Loss Made Real Podcast Study Guide was created to support you on your weight loss journey. If you enjoy my podcast and want help taking what you hear and putting it into real life action, you’ll love this workbook!

Collection 1 is all about Episodes 1 – 52, and it contains these great features:

  • Easy-to-read summaries of all the main, most important concepts from each podcast episode.
  • Room for you to take notes that are relevant to you and your life, right there alongside the summary notes.
  • A direct link to each episode for your reference and so you can easily listen while you read the summaries.
  • An action step for each episode, plus links to additional resources mentioned are embedded right into the notes so you can easily access them, if desired… and much more!

Get all the details and purchase your copy today.


Gifts and Important Links

Make sure you get your FREE downloadable copy of my Amazon book, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: https://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

I always welcome your letters. You may email me with questions and suggestions for podcasts at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

Finally, I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot!

Here’s how to rate and review on iTunes: https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Stop Running From Discomfort

Thursday, July 14th, 2016

Mother_DaughterXSmall-300x199Recently I found myself in an old familiar setting.

One of my teenage daughters had come home from school in a mood. Let’s just say, it was one of those teenage moods.

I was in the kitchen with her, and suddenly realized that I was mindlessly snacking.

I did a quick check-in with myself.

No hunger.

And I realized that just like that I had slipped into an old pattern… I started to feel uncomfortable and immediately started eating to remedy the discomfort.

Although most of that behavior is gone for me, it still occasionally rears its head.

And it’s good to notice that even after doing lots of work, sometimes you react with old patterns.

So here’s the story:

When you begin to feel uncomfortable, about anything you’re thinking about, notice the feeling coming over you.

Pause.

And then welcome the discomfort.

It’s here to teach you something.

To give you the inside path to your thoughts.

And only after you allow yourself to feel the feeling, can you go inside and work on it. Change it. Or not.

But first you have to feel it.

Then you can figure out what’s going on.

If you eat you will smother the feeling, and lose touch with the thought.

So grab the opportunity.

Stop running from discomfort.

Have You Plateaued?

Thursday, June 23rd, 2016

plateauThe dictionary defines plateau as: to reach a state of little or no growth or decline, to stop increasing or progressing, or to remain at a stable level of achievement.

To many of my clients, the word plateau is a dreaded word.

It implies lack of movement, specifically movement towards their most desired goal… weight loss.

In your career, you might look at the level you’ve reached in your organization, wanting to move up and feeling stymied where you are.

In a relationship, a love relationship, think of the woman who believes all things should keep moving forward.

Toward marriage.

And perhaps her partner is happy to stay where he is.

When this stability happens, and we’re not where we envision ending up, we brainstorm and plan to ‘attack’ this plateau… bust through it, conquer it, and FORCE some movement.

But what if a plateau was a good thing?

What if a plateau was a gift?

Why not look at this lack of movement as a chance to regroup, to assess where you are, and to review where you want to go?

And just be there.

In the plateau.

Maybe it’s a time to get used to the movement you’ve already made.

Maybe it’s a time to breathe in your progress so far.

To make it a part of you.

Your new normal.

And from this new normal, more change may be possible.

I think, when you’re making changes and growing, whether it’s your body or your relationships, you make these changes in steps.

And when you plateau, you’ve reached a step.

Instead of panicking and beating yourself forward, stop.

Just stop and be where you are.

From this point, from this peaceful place, you can decide.

To change your actions.

To think differently about your goals.

Maybe even to change your goals.

Maybe you will decide to keep moving forward.

Maybe not.

The plateau is the universe’s way of saying to us, “Pause. You’re at this stage of your evolution. Take it in. Then you can decide.”

Why Overeating Leads to More Overeating

Thursday, May 26th, 2016

Overeating and OverwhelmedWhat triggers you to eat more than your body wants?

It all starts with a thought.

That thought leads us to a feeling, good or bad, it doesn’t matter.

And that feeling leads us to take action.

When we take action, we get a result.

Overeat often, and the result you’ll get is extra weight.

This is basic Cognitive Behavioral Psychology.

Now picture this scenario: you have eaten past hunger, past comfort.

Physically you feel overstuffed and uncomfortable.

Your emotional feeling might be something like shame, regret, depression, anger, or hopelessness.

All of those feelings come from your thoughts.

So after you overeat, as soon as you start to feel these negative emotions, you feel uneasy.

As these bad feelings begin to arise, resistance also arises. You don’t want to feel shame or depression or hopelessness.

So, what’s a girl to do?

Eat more.

Overeating begets more overeating because of what we say to ourselves.

When we start beating ourselves, our survival instinct kicks in and we want relief.

We want it now.

We want to feel better.

How can we do this?

The easiest way to drown out a bad feeling if overeating is your modus operandi, is to overeat some more. (If you overspend, or overdrink, or over-anything, your M.O. will be to do more of the same.)

And this cycle can go on and on until you are really physically ill.

After we overeat, we commonly think, “Oh well, I blew it, I may as well keep going and enjoy this food and start again tomorrow.”

I think there’s more to “I blew it” than meets the eye.

After you ‘blew it’, do you really enjoy what you are continuing to eat?

Really?

“I blew it” implies you goofed, and now you may as well give up.

I say “I blew it” is a cover for “I can’t stand this discomfort one moment longer. I need food.”

So you eat.

And now you can focus your thoughts and your energy on what you just ate, how you blew your program again, and what’s wrong with you. Mostly what’s wrong with you.

It’s a never ending cycle.

Sounds crappy.

Feels crappy.

Imagine this: next time you overeat, and you’ve completed the first round of food, just sit. Get away from the food, and set a timer for 15 minutes. See what you feel. Notice what you’re thinking. (Here’s a worksheet to help you do this… click here to open.)

But here’s the deal: don’t go to your usual feeling-squasher. Sit with it. Let it pass though you. Here’s where you have the power to stop. To turn things around.

You don’t have to complete this overeating episode in the way you always do. You can break the chains that bind you any time.

What if you completely changed your perspective?

Instead of thinking that you boarding a fast-moving train and can’t get off, think of this:

You overate.

But it’s what you do after that will pack on the pounds of shame. Dr. Stephen Gullo, a diet guru to New York City high society, calls it the ‘slip to sleep syndrome’.

After your first slip, your first bite of something you didn’t have hunger for, your first phase of overeating, if you stop, you can minimize the damage to your psyche. Not to mention your body.

But what most of us do is continue the damage until we go to bed that night, bloated and wounded, adding insult to self-injury.

You’ve never blown it.

What does ‘blown it’ mean, anyway?

It’s Time To Wake Up!

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

wake upA while ago I went on my first college visit with my oldest daughter Sara.

Since I attended a city college in New York, this campus visit was a first in many ways. I had never lived in a dorm, nor had I gone through the process of visiting and choosing a school.

I had both my girls later in life, so I am, ahem, an older parent. I know this. I’ve always known this. But it didn’t hit home until I found myself walking on the campus and being surrounded by hordes of young people.

The atmosphere was electrifying.

Everywhere, people were walking purposefully to class, to study, to the library, to meet friends…and all seemed full of energy.

I was suddenly confronted with several significant facts.

My daughter, who, it seems, was only recently a baby, was now applying to colleges and going on job interviews.

Where did the time go?

And somehow, in the process of her rapid advance towards young adulthood, somehow, I had aged. Greatly.

I’ll give you an example.

While Sara was on a campus tour with a friend’s daughter, my husband, I and our younger daughter Sophia went into Urban Outfitters to browse around.

Spying a straw hat, which I thought was perfect for our upcoming spring break, I slipped into an aisle with a mirror, popped on the hat, and for further effect, put on my sunglasses.

As I studied myself in the mirror, thinking, ‘Not bad!’, I sensed someone watching me. I turned my head and found Sophia, my other teen daughter, staring at me.

The look on her face can only be described as “I DON’T KNOW YOU!” Her embarrassment made me laugh. Maybe a little too hysterically.

I didn’t belong.

I didn’t fit into this youthful crowd, in this youthful store, filled with merchandise meant for teens and twenty-somethings.

I could handle that.

I bought the hat anyway.

But for the rest of the day, I felt a strange stirring.

An awakening.

That old cliché about time moving quickly… it was true.

How did I get to be an upcoming empty-nester so quickly? I can honestly remember playing Barney songs in the car!

I still haven’t formed a movie group, gone to New Mexico, taken dance lessons, or become a more adventurous cook. Where did all the time go?

The young people around me walked with purpose. They had the excitement of unlimited futures in front of them.

How had I gone into the trance of life? And was there time to wake up?

Yes!

I took the brief envy I felt and turned it into a wakeup call.

Until the day I no longer wake up, there will always be time.

Every day, I want to remember that today counts.

Every moment counts. Every decision.

I don’t want to fritter away what I have left.

I want to wake up!

Episode 13: Understanding and Ending Your Emotional Eating

Tuesday, March 29th, 2016

Episode 13: Understanding and Ending Your Emotional Eating

Emotional Eating Podcast 13

Emotional eating gets almost all of us at one time or another. It’s hard not to fall prey to feeling bad about something in your life and running for the cookies and ice cream.

But understanding how and why we created this strong connection between our emotions and our eating is the first step to separating them.

You don’t need to go into therapy and examine your whole life to stop eating emotionally. Awareness comes first, and then understanding.

Here’s what we will cover together today in your coaching session in Episode 13:

  • Exactly what is emotional eating?
  • How is physical hunger different from emotional hunger?
  • Why do you eat when you’re feeling something uncomfortable?
  • If it causes you to eat too much and gain weight, why don’t you just stop?
  • What if you just don’t want to feel sad, or angry or lonely?
  • Do you need to learn to be happy all the time to stop eating emotionally?
  • How do you stop doing it?

The understanding and unraveling of this habit is doable. For you. I promise. Take 20 minutes today to learn exactly how and what to do to change your eating and your thinking.


Weight Loss Made Real Free Facebook Group

Join my free Facebook group where we will discuss and learn the concepts taught on my podcasts on a deeper level. Join the group here.


The Freedom Group – Here’s How You Can Work With Me!

Do you struggle to lose weight or stop eating emotionally? If you do, click here to learn how The Freedom Group can help.

The Freedom Group is a comprehensive, structured coaching program with me as your coach and a group of like-minded women who will help you reach your goals. We use my unique EAT, THINK, LOVE program to help you lose weight, change how you eat, and lose the whole problem!

Enrollment will open soon, so get on the waiting list and be the first to know when we’re accepting new members. This is a monthly membership and you can stay as long as you wish. I’d love to work with you in the Freedom Group.


Podcast Study Guide

The Weight Loss Made Real Podcast Study Guide was created to support you on your weight loss journey. If you enjoy my podcast and want help taking what you hear and putting it into real life action, you’ll love this workbook!

Collection 1 is all about Episodes 1 – 52, and it contains these great features:

  • Easy-to-read summaries of all the main, most important concepts from each podcast episode.
  • Room for you to take notes that are relevant to you and your life, right there alongside the summary notes.
  • A direct link to each episode for your reference and so you can easily listen while you read the summaries.
  • An action step for each episode, plus links to additional resources mentioned are embedded right into the notes so you can easily access them, if desired… and much more!

Get all the details and purchase your copy today.


Gifts and Important Links

Make sure you get your FREE downloadable copy of my Amazon book, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: https://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

I always welcome your letters. You may email me with questions and suggestions for podcasts at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

Finally, I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot!

Here’s how to rate and review on iTunes: https://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

The Self-Compassion Diet

Wednesday, March 16th, 2016

Self-CompassionA while back, a friend sent me an article she thought I might be interested in. It still stands out in my mind.

It was from the New York Times, in the Health section, written by Tara Parker-Pope, entitled Go Easy on Yourself, A New Wave of Research Urges”.

The article talked about self-compassion as a critical ingredient needed for happiness, self-esteem, easy weight loss, and just about everything we all wish for in our vision of a good life.

It cites research from the recently released book, The Self-Compassion Diet, by Jean Fain.

So, what is self-compassion?

Well, you know the old Golden Rule? Always treats others as you want to be treated yourself.

This is a modification of that rule: Always treat yourself as well as you treat others.

It may be, for many of us, the missing ingredient in getting ourselves to reach our goals.

As I read through the article and the many comments it sparked, I noticed how many people felt that self-compassion was something we had enough of. Time to toughen up and do what you need to do.

But others disagreed.

One of the comments on this article was from a woman who said: “No one in the world hates me more than I hate myself”.

So let me ask you: If you make a mistake, do you berate yourself before moving on and correcting the mistake?

Are you afraid you’ll be a worse mother, a heavier woman, a less efficient worker if you are nice to yourself?

What is self-compassion?

  • It’s seeing yourself without judgment, without disappointment or disapproval.
  • It’s seeing your true self with clarity and honesty, and still feeling love for yourself.
  • It’s being able to accept flaws in yourself without condemning.

If self-compassion feels so good, why even debate it?

Why don’t we all have busloads of self-compassion all the time?

It’s because we fear that if we aren’t harsh and critical, we’ll just go off the deep end.

Become a total sloth.

Be unproductive.

Gain 50 pounds.

Lose all our motivation.

But here’s the deal: Being compassionate toward yourself is not the same as feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself keeps you stuck. Feeling compassion is like putting a cozy blanket of comfort around you, and saying, ‘You’re ok’.

It doesn’t hold us back from our best work, or from our best self, or from our best habits.

It fills our cups, letting us move forward.

It’s always easier and feels better when we move from a place of love, and understanding.

Comforted.

Full.

Not needing to fill ourselves up with things that don’t quite do the trick.

Like brownies, when you’re lonely.

And chips when you’re overwhelmed.

So, what’s the trick to feeling self-compassion?

  • When something goes wrong, pretend that your most beloved friend was responsible, instead of you. How would you talk to her?
  • When you are doing something that isn’t in your best interests, rise above the scene. Look down at yourself on the ground. And remind yourself of your big game plan.
  • When things aren’t perfect, remind yourself that you’re not alone. We’re all human, we’re all in this together, and we certainly all screw up. So there.

Self-compassion.

Sounds good to me.

What Will It Take?

Wednesday, March 9th, 2016

What will it take to get to where you want?A while back, the Wall Street Journal had an article that caught my eye, entitled “Second Acts – What do you do for an encore?”

The article profiled four people aged 50 to 65, all of whom completely reinvented themselves at midlife.

One particular woman piqued my attention. Lisa Fisco.

Lisa is a 50 year old woman who spent the first half of her life as a television producer. She’s a single mother who worked hard to make ends meet. Eventually the struggle and stress took its toll on her health.

Her constant exhaustion and pressure triggered her to overeat, and she ended up gaining 100 extra pounds.

Lisa was a former athlete, who used to play soccer and rugby in college. And now her life and her body were almost unrecognizable to her.

So what did she do?

She didn’t join a health club.

She didn’t get a personal trainer.

Or go on a diet.

She decided to train for the Olympic weight-lifting team.

Yes, the Olympics.

As a young girl Lisa loved lifting weights with her dad, and watching the events with him during the Olympic Games.

She researched, found a coach and decided that she would do whatever it took to be in the 2012 Olympics games.

Whatever it took.

She quit her job and took a less demanding job, allowing her time to train five hours a day, five to six days a week.

To say she is committed is such an understatement.

In the process of ongoing training, Lisa lost 100 pounds, and is in the process of losing more to qualify for a lower weight class.

She must win several preliminary competitions to reach her goal of making the Olympic team. If she does, she will be the oldest Olympic weight lifter in the history of the Olympics.

And here are her words: “It’s not that life is so short; it’s just we wait so long to begin.”

And there you have it.

What are you waiting for? What do you dream about?

What have you told yourself is just too hard?

Dreams don’t die, but efforts fade and focus changes.

What will it take for you to be the person you dream of?

To finally lose the extra weight you are carrying around?

To make peace with exactly who you are?

To take steps to create the daily life you long for?

If anyone has ever done what you want to do, then you can too.

But maybe we should take some lessons from Lisa.

  1. It’s never too late to have a second act. Or a third. Or a fourth.
  2. Instead of focusing on how hard things will be, simply say, “What will it take?” and start with baby steps.
  3. Don’t keep putting off what you really want.

All we know for sure is what our reality is right now.

We don’t know what the future holds.

But you can bet that Lisa Fisco looked straight at her reality, and knew that she didn’t want more of the same in her future.

So she simply started with: What will it take?

P.S. This picture is NOT Lisa Fisco. But you get the idea.

How Emotional Eating Makes You Feel Worse

Thursday, October 30th, 2014

feel worseHave you ever eaten something with no hunger, strictly to feel better? I have. And I’ll bet you have too.

Clients tell me all the time that they are ‘emotional eaters’. This all-encompassing term includes any eating you do to relieve an uncomfortable feeling.

This feeling could be anything: shame, anger, fear, loneliness, worry.

Rarely is it ever feelings of peace, joy or satisfaction.

Often, my clients, who are frustrated about their extra weight, eat to overcome the bad feelings they have about their bodies, their ‘failure’, their inability to get themselves to do what’s good for them. So, we eat to get rid of uncomfortable feelings.

But, wait a minute!

To me, it looks like we’re soothing our pain using the very thing that causes us to feel pain in the first place. And this eating adds more pounds of pain, giving you more uncomfortable feelings.

Soothing ourselves with food, when we’re trying to lose weight, is like rubbing salt into a wound. It makes it feel worse. It makes it hurt more. And it won’t get rid of what caused the wound in the first place.

So, what can you do instead?

First, catch yourself next time you reach for food to soothe an uncomfortable feeling. Pause. And ask if this will help or compound your discomfort. Then choose something else to do.

Don’t eat. Allow the feeling to bubble up and wash over you. It will pass.

Now you can decide what to do about it.

I encourage my clients to have a list ready of things they can do to soothe themselves. Some take only a few minutes. Some take more time. Some are solo activities. Some involve other people.

Have your own personal list ready. There’s no limit to the ideas you can come up with that can give you relief.

And here’s one more tip: how do you get yourself to pause and go look at your list?

Do a preview. Start regularly mentally practicing coming up against your stress and instead of reaching for food, reach for your soothing list.  Do it often enough and it will become your new behavior.

But first, you need to stop using the thing that causes pain to relieve your pain.