One of the things I’ve been thinking about lately is the concept of ‘high maintenance’. Who qualifies for that title, and who doesn’t.
If you’re anything like me, when you hear the phrase ‘high maintenance’ you might think of someone like Paris Hilton. What also comes to mind for me are visions of a woman who is spoiled, demanding and accustomed to getting her own way.
Not a pretty picture.
In fact, in my own life, I’ve always prided myself on being a low maintenance kind of woman. The phrase ‘I’m okay’ has been radically overused by yours truly.
- I’m okay, I don’t need anything.
- I’m okay; I don’t want any special treatment.
- I’m okay; I’ll just have whatever is left over.
Lately, I’ve been noticing the low maintenance qualities that many of my clients have adopted.
- They might eat whatever is easy, which is often not what’s best for them, nor what they really want.
- They let others take priority status, putting their needs on a back burner.
- And, they don’t give themselves anything beyond life’s basic necessities, because they dread being thought of as selfish or spoiled.
Does this sound familiar?
It does to me!
So, what if we were able to take the concept of being ‘high maintenance’ and turn it around from being a mild insult, to a high compliment?
What if high maintenance meant that as a very together person, you were an expert at meeting your own needs?
But consider the consequences of NOT morphing into the High Maintenance Lifestyle:
- You frequently feel irritated because of all that is not fulfilled in you.
- You rarely get what you really want.
- You have little to give to others, so when you do, you give with resentment.
- As a result of not getting what you need AND want, you might seek refuge in temporary fixes, like overeating, overspending and generally numbing yourself out to make up for the constant small (or large) disappointments.
When you are a loving person who is also high maintenance you are filling your own cup.
It’s nice to be around people who take good care of their needs; there’s no neediness or graspiness. It’s very attractive.
People who are high maintenance in a good way live in environments that support them. They eat food that nurtures them. Their relationships work because they have good boundaries and standards of how they expect to be treated.
Life flows. It feels good.
And it’s a far cry from the vision of Paris Hilton.
So, how do you go from being a low maintenance ‘whatever’ kind of woman to a high maintenance, respected and lovable kind of woman?
Here are some questions to ask yourself as you start putting your needs high on the list:
- What do I need in this situation?
- What do I really want?
- How do I want to be treated in this relationship?
- What feels right to me in my gut?
- What’s in my best interest?
It may feel odd at first.
Your goal is to have your needs fulfilled and have it feel completely natural to you.
When this happens, you will be able to deal with all that comes your way from a place of abundance instead of lack.
And that’s a definition of high maintenance that I can support.