At this moment, I am a woman with half an empty nest.
My oldest daughter moved into her college dorm recently. Freshman year.
And I am home, pondering how to miss her, while still letting go, and letting her grow into the beautiful young woman she is.
When I look back, and have a strong desire to hold on to her and to her childhood, I am met with pain. It’s inevitable.
But when I allow myself to look ahead, and be happy for the life she is creating on her own, I am happy.
It makes me think about the many things in life that change, and how we instinctively try to hold on to them.
Why do we try to prevent change? Why is letting go hard for us?
Because we all like the comfort of knowing that how things are is how they will remain.
But that thinking goes against the laws of the universe.
Because everything does change.
Whether we’re ready or not.
When I coach my clients to get to the root of their extra weight, I commonly hear goals that aren’t realistic.
They want to look like they looked at a certain age.
They want to fit into the jeans they wore before they had kids.
Or they want to eat whatever they want whenever they want and not gain an ounce, like they did when they were ten. (Maybe!)
They are essentially holding onto their past.
Their past definition of success.
And they need to let go.
In my case, I need to let go of my old relationship with my daughter, formed when she was a child. And look ahead.
Because if I look ahead, there is no limit to what kind of relationship I can have with this freshly-minted young adult.
When you want to move ahead in any area of your life, you need to say goodbye to how you were, without regret.
Don’t make your goal include holding on to how you used to be.
Everything you want is just over the horizon.
Just a little outside of your comfort zone.
It looks different.
But it’s all good.