Posts Tagged ‘food as comfort’

Episode 71: Learn How to Trade Your Old Thought Loops for New Ones

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

Episode 71: Learn How to Trade Your Old Thought Loops for New Ones

If you’re like me and most of the people I work with privately and in my groups, you have certain thoughts that are your favorites.

Thought loops podcast 71

These thoughts go around and around in your mind, playing as often as the Top 10 songs on your local radio station.

The problem is, that many of these thought loops don’t help you. In fact, many of them keep you stuck and repeating old harmful patterns over and over.

Today in your coaching session we’re going to take a close look at your thought loops.

We’ll talk about what a thought loop actually is, how to know whether it helps or it hurts you, and why these loops are SO hard to break out of.

Of course, we will also talk about the way out: how to wake up to your own thought loops and decide what stays and what gets ditched, and why.

Join me in this coaching session and let’s take apart your Top 10 list and see if it’s worthy to be floating around in that beautiful mind of yours.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

What Does Your Extra Weight Look Like?

Thursday, November 24th, 2016

extra weightWhen you’re carrying some extra weight on your body, it’s easy to get used to it. You develop coping mechanisms that allow you to function without being painfully aware of what’s bothering you every minute of the day.

Of course, at certain times you’re more aware of it than usual.

  • Like when you’re shopping for clothes and looking in the dressing room mirror.
  • Or when you’re worried about fitting into an airplane seat without spilling over into your neighbor’s seat.
  • Or when you get winded going up a simple flight of stairs.

But on an everyday basis, if you spend most of your day sitting at a desk, you may not be aware of what you are literally carrying around all the time.

I think it’s good to give yourself a wakeup call. And become sensitive to what it means to have an extra 10 or 30 or 75 pounds on your body.

Look around your house or go to the grocery store and pick out some items that weigh close to the same amount of weight you’d like to lose.

Think of a bag of kitty litter… pick up that 10 or 20 pound bag to see what it feels like.

Look at four sticks of butter, a mere pound. Picture yourself having 40 of those sticks, 10 pounds, stuffed into your pockets all day long.

I’m no wimp but the bags my dog’s food comes in, 25 pounds each, are heavy to lug into my car trunk.

Now, visualize that all day, every day you have extra weight on your body, you are ‘carrying’ something extra with you all the time. Day and night. Up and down the stairs. In all your social interactions. At work.

It’s extra.

You don’t need it.

Physically, things would be easier if you dropped your extra load.

Left it by the curb.

Let go of what was slowing you down and not adding to your life.

Carrying around extra weight all day every day packs a big cost.

Are you willing to keep paying?

This week, I challenge you to look and find some physical equivalent of the weight you’d like to lose.

And put it in front of you.

Carry it around for a period of time.

Become very aware of what that extra weight feels like on your body, and how good it feels to put it down.

Conversely, as you begin to release your body’s extra weight, it helps to look at the physical equivalent of what you’ve lost, to remind yourself of what you are no longer carrying around.

And how much better you feel.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of what we get used to.

We stop seeing it.

We can’t feel it.

Making it physical makes it real again.

And that helps us have the motivation to do something about it.

Ep 43 Emotional Eating: Why You Need to Feel ALL Your Feelings

Tuesday, October 25th, 2016

Episode 43: Emotional Eating: Why You Need to Feel ALL Your Feelings

Are you selective about what you let yourself feel? I’m talking about your emotions.

Sad, happy, worried, angry or lonely. The good and the bad.

Feelings podcast 43

Do you distract yourself from an uncomfortable feeling by eating? When you do that, you avoid a feeling and add some extra pounds to your body.

Join me today in this coaching session and you’ll learn:

  • What a feeling is and how it’s created.
  • What your thoughts have to do with your feelings.
  • Why you may have learned to avoid any negative emotion.
  • And speaking of painful emotions, are they clean pain from the nature of being alive? Or are they feelings made much worse by the stories you tell yourself?
  • It’s important to allow yourself to feel the natural, unavoidable pain of being alive. Here’s why.
  • Do you know what happens when you avoid your negative feelings?
  • And, what happens when you allow yourself to feel everything?
  • And finally, how to do it. How to feel everything and survive.

Managing your emotional life is a sign of being an adult. You can do this. And when you learn to do this, there is nothing to run from, and you will lose the drive to eat when you aren’t hungry.

I will see you in the session!

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 42 Stop Your Stress Eating, Part 2

Tuesday, October 18th, 2016

Episode 42: Stop Your Stress Eating, Part 2

I’m back with part 2 of Stress Eating, to help you disconnect your stressful emotions from eating without hunger.

Stress Eating Podcast 42

If you listened to Episode 40, you’ll remember that we talked about your stress eating.

We defined it, looked at the mind-body connection and really pinpointed how it shows up in your life.

Now, we’re going to unravel exactly what to do to break the connection between emotions and eating.

Today, in your coaching session, we will cover:

  • What your thoughts are that lead to stress.
  • What the effects might be if you don’t learn how to disconnect stress from eating.
  • How to deal with the experience of stress in the moment, and not eat.
  • Stepping back, looking at your thoughts, the cause of your stress.
  • And, rising above and seeing the big picture. How to create a life where stress is minimized, and you learn to manage your emotions on a daily basis without eating.

I hope you join me for this revealing coaching session!

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 41 Weight Loss and the Working Woman

Tuesday, October 11th, 2016

Episode 41: Weight Loss and the Working Woman

Are you a woman who works? Maybe you work managing your family, from morning until night. Or perhaps you’re a working woman in an office setting, employed by a company.

Either way, join the ranks. You’re a working woman.

Working Woman Podcast 41

And having seen this in many of my private clients, I would guess there is a real disconnect between who you are all day long, and who you become at night.

Do you hold all things together all day long, only to lapse into emotional eating at the end of the day?

Let me ask you these questions:

Are you aware of the many admirable traits you possess, operating in the world and solving problems all day long?

Have you ever thought about why you’re able to do this and then come home and feel helpless around food at night?

Let me show you a simple perspective shift. I want you to see your skills and use those skills to solve your own personal problem: emotional eating.

  • I will coach you and show you how your day differs from your night.
  • What you’re not seeing about yourself.
  • Why you don’t use your problem solving skills on yourself personally.
  • How to view your emotional eating as a simple project to be taken care of.
  • How to ace this project.
  • What creates the perfect storm in the evening.
  • And what to focus on for the next week.

Together we can figure this out.

I will see you in the coaching session.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 40 Why You Overeat When You’re Stressed

Tuesday, October 4th, 2016

Episode 40: Why You Overeat When You’re Stressed

If you’re alive, you have stress. If you have a job, some friends, or maybe some obligations, you have stress.

Stressed Podcast 40

We all have stress in some form or another, and yet we don’t all eat in reaction to it.

Today, I’m going to talk to you about stress and your eating. Or, your overeating, that is.

Do you even know exactly what stress is?

Let’s talk about it and I will show you:

  • What stress is.
  • How it shows up in your life, in your mind and your body.
  • Why you might overeat when you’re feeling stressed.
  • How eating got connected with your moods.
  • What exactly is the mind-body connection?
  • Does eating help you when you’re stressed?
  • Why do some people eat from stress while others lose their appetites?
  • Do you know what your stress eating patterns are?
  • How to stop the habit of overeating when life is too much.
  • Is the goal to eliminate all stress from your life? (Hint: no.)

So we’re going to take a look at what you do when life feels like too much to deal with and the feeling of overwhelm is high.

Is eating inevitable? No.

Join me in this coaching session to learn to recognize your own stress eating patterns and start the process of disconnecting food from mood.

I’ll see you in the session.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

It’s Time To Wake Up!

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

wake upA while ago I went on my first college visit with my oldest daughter Sara.

Since I attended a city college in New York, this campus visit was a first in many ways. I had never lived in a dorm, nor had I gone through the process of visiting and choosing a school.

I had both my girls later in life, so I am, ahem, an older parent. I know this. I’ve always known this. But it didn’t hit home until I found myself walking on the campus and being surrounded by hordes of young people.

The atmosphere was electrifying.

Everywhere, people were walking purposefully to class, to study, to the library, to meet friends…and all seemed full of energy.

I was suddenly confronted with several significant facts.

My daughter, who, it seems, was only recently a baby, was now applying to colleges and going on job interviews.

Where did the time go?

And somehow, in the process of her rapid advance towards young adulthood, somehow, I had aged. Greatly.

I’ll give you an example.

While Sara was on a campus tour with a friend’s daughter, my husband, I and our younger daughter Sophia went into Urban Outfitters to browse around.

Spying a straw hat, which I thought was perfect for our upcoming spring break, I slipped into an aisle with a mirror, popped on the hat, and for further effect, put on my sunglasses.

As I studied myself in the mirror, thinking, ‘Not bad!’, I sensed someone watching me. I turned my head and found Sophia, my other teen daughter, staring at me.

The look on her face can only be described as “I DON’T KNOW YOU!” Her embarrassment made me laugh. Maybe a little too hysterically.

I didn’t belong.

I didn’t fit into this youthful crowd, in this youthful store, filled with merchandise meant for teens and twenty-somethings.

I could handle that.

I bought the hat anyway.

But for the rest of the day, I felt a strange stirring.

An awakening.

That old cliché about time moving quickly… it was true.

How did I get to be an upcoming empty-nester so quickly? I can honestly remember playing Barney songs in the car!

I still haven’t formed a movie group, gone to New Mexico, taken dance lessons, or become a more adventurous cook. Where did all the time go?

The young people around me walked with purpose. They had the excitement of unlimited futures in front of them.

How had I gone into the trance of life? And was there time to wake up?

Yes!

I took the brief envy I felt and turned it into a wakeup call.

Until the day I no longer wake up, there will always be time.

Every day, I want to remember that today counts.

Every moment counts. Every decision.

I don’t want to fritter away what I have left.

I want to wake up!

The Self-Compassion Diet

Wednesday, March 16th, 2016

Self-CompassionA while back, a friend sent me an article she thought I might be interested in. It still stands out in my mind.

It was from the New York Times, in the Health section, written by Tara Parker-Pope, entitled Go Easy on Yourself, A New Wave of Research Urges”.

The article talked about self-compassion as a critical ingredient needed for happiness, self-esteem, easy weight loss, and just about everything we all wish for in our vision of a good life.

It cites research from the recently released book, The Self-Compassion Diet, by Jean Fain.

So, what is self-compassion?

Well, you know the old Golden Rule? Always treats others as you want to be treated yourself.

This is a modification of that rule: Always treat yourself as well as you treat others.

It may be, for many of us, the missing ingredient in getting ourselves to reach our goals.

As I read through the article and the many comments it sparked, I noticed how many people felt that self-compassion was something we had enough of. Time to toughen up and do what you need to do.

But others disagreed.

One of the comments on this article was from a woman who said: “No one in the world hates me more than I hate myself”.

So let me ask you: If you make a mistake, do you berate yourself before moving on and correcting the mistake?

Are you afraid you’ll be a worse mother, a heavier woman, a less efficient worker if you are nice to yourself?

What is self-compassion?

  • It’s seeing yourself without judgment, without disappointment or disapproval.
  • It’s seeing your true self with clarity and honesty, and still feeling love for yourself.
  • It’s being able to accept flaws in yourself without condemning.

If self-compassion feels so good, why even debate it?

Why don’t we all have busloads of self-compassion all the time?

It’s because we fear that if we aren’t harsh and critical, we’ll just go off the deep end.

Become a total sloth.

Be unproductive.

Gain 50 pounds.

Lose all our motivation.

But here’s the deal: Being compassionate toward yourself is not the same as feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself keeps you stuck. Feeling compassion is like putting a cozy blanket of comfort around you, and saying, ‘You’re ok’.

It doesn’t hold us back from our best work, or from our best self, or from our best habits.

It fills our cups, letting us move forward.

It’s always easier and feels better when we move from a place of love, and understanding.

Comforted.

Full.

Not needing to fill ourselves up with things that don’t quite do the trick.

Like brownies, when you’re lonely.

And chips when you’re overwhelmed.

So, what’s the trick to feeling self-compassion?

  • When something goes wrong, pretend that your most beloved friend was responsible, instead of you. How would you talk to her?
  • When you are doing something that isn’t in your best interests, rise above the scene. Look down at yourself on the ground. And remind yourself of your big game plan.
  • When things aren’t perfect, remind yourself that you’re not alone. We’re all human, we’re all in this together, and we certainly all screw up. So there.

Self-compassion.

Sounds good to me.

Ep 8 Brain Over Binge Recovery Guide: A Special Interview with Kathryn Hansen About Binge Eating

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2016

Episode 8: Brain Over Binge Recovery Guide: A Special Interview with Kathryn Hansen About Binge Eating

Binge Eating with Kathryn Hansen

So many of us struggle with binge eating. You may suffer greatly, and see no way out. But there is a way out, and Kathryn Hansen has found it.

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss. Get it here: http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/book

Today I interviewed my colleague, author Kathryn Hansen all about binge eating. Here’s what we covered::

  • Kathryn talked about her story, her binge eating and how she eventually overcame it completely.
  • We discussed the difference between her first book, Brain Over Binge, and her new book, Brain Over Binge Recovery Guide.
  • Kathryn explained her 5 components of the process of stopping binge eating.
  • We touched on the most common roadblocks you might encounter in dismissing the urges to binge, and how you can look at this challenge.
  • What fears most people have about stopping their bingeing.
  • What happens when we think the urge is too strong to dismiss.
  • We talked about the insight needed to deal with binge urges, and how to get this insight.
  • And we covered what happens after you’ve stopped bingeing: how do you learn to eat normally.

This is a special interview with a woman who changed the way I view binge eating. Her website is BrainOverBinge.com and her new book, The Brain Over Binge Recovery Guide is available on Amazon. (The Kindle version is half price this week!)

You will not want to miss this discussion if binge eating is a challenge for you. Kathryn’s concepts are literally life-changing, and I use them with my clients on a regular basis.

To schedule your complimentary consultation, visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk.

If you can, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

How Stress-Eating Makes Your Stress Worse

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Stress reliefHave you ever eaten something with no hunger, strictly for the purpose of feeling better?

I have.

And I’ll bet you have too.

Clients tell me all the time that they are stress eaters.

This all-encompassing term includes any eating you do to relieve an uncomfortable feeling.

This feeling could be anything.

  • Shame.
  • Anger.
  • Fear.
  • Loneliness.
  • Worry.

Rarely to never is it feelings of peace, joy or satisfaction.

Often, my clients, who are frustrated about their extra weight, eat to overcome the bad feelings they have about their bodies, their ‘failure’, their inability to get themselves to do what’s good for them.

So, we eat to get rid of uncomfortable feelings.

But, wait a minute!

To me, it looks like we’re soothing our pain using the very thing that causes us pain in the first place.

And this eating adds more pounds of pain, giving you more uncomfortable feelings.

What??

Soothing ourselves with food, when we’re trying to lose weight, is like rubbing salt into a wound.

It makes it worse.

It makes it hurt more.

And it won’t get rid of what caused the wound in the first place.

So, what can you do instead?

First, catch yourself next time you reach for food to soothe an uncomfortable feeling.

Pause.

And ask if this will help or compound your discomfort.

Then choose something else to do.

Don’t eat.

Allow the feeling to bubble up and wash over you.

It will pass.

Now you can decide what to do about it.

I encourage my clients to have a list ready of things they can do to soothe themselves.

Some take only a few minutes.

Some take more time.

Some are solo activities.

Some involve other people.

Have your own personal list ready.

There’s no limit to the ideas you can come up with that can give you relief.

And here’s one more tip: how do you get yourself to pause and go look at your list?

Do a preview.

Start regularly mentally practicing coming up against your stress, and not reaching for food, but for your soothing list. Do it often enough and it will become your new behavior.

But you need to stop using the thing that causes pain to relieve your pain.