Posts Tagged ‘finding what works’

Taking a Leap of Faith

Wednesday, April 12th, 2017

Dear Cookie,

I start my day with the best intentions:

  • I will stick to my eating plan today.
  • I will do a workout early in the day.
  • I will drink lots of water today.

But then, something happens that throws me off course.

And I don’t do anything that I planned!

I’m so frustrated with myself and even worse, I am beginning to lose hope that I can EVER get to my natural weight.

What’s wrong with me?

C.S., Brooklyn, NY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taking a leap of faithDear C.S.,

There is NOTHING wrong with you.

At all.

Read those words again.

And try to relax.

Here’s the deal:

When we’re trying to create new habits, and at the same time get rid of habits we’re not happy with, we all tend to do what you’ve done. That is, make a list, get excited and plunge in.

The first problem with your scenario is that you are trying to change too many things at once:

Your eating.

Your workout.

And even your water intake.

So for starters, pick one.

(Yes, I know you want to do all three yesterday. Still, pick one.)

It’s far easier to put your focus on one desired action than on three.

Pick one and write out your intentions of what you want to do in the morning.

Then choose a way to remind yourself several times during the day to focus your attention on the new habit you want to cultivate.

Most of my clients either set the alarm function on their phones or on their computers to ring or vibrate at different intervals. This wakes you up and reminds you that you want to focus on your goal. There are also small, inexpensive timers… I use one called Gymboss.

Now, another thing I see you doing is a common mistake.

You’re focusing on the action you want to change, for example, you want to drink more water during the day.

Drinking the water is an action.

But what creates that action is the thought you think right before you do it.

So you need to wake yourself up (figuratively) and then program your mind with a thought that will make drinking the water easier.

Some examples of thoughts for this goal are:

  • Drinking lots of water during the day gives me energy.
  • I feel great when I get enough water.

I’d like to leave you with one more thought and that’s about losing faith in yourself.

If anyone in the world has done or is doing what you want to do, then you know it’s possible.

And if you create the right scenario, with supportive thoughts, and set up your environment for success, then there’s no reason that you, too, won’t succeed.

Think of the things you’ve accomplished in your life that took practice, and didn’t necessarily come easily.

Draw on these memories for strength and resolve. Have faith in yourself.

Then relax and focus on your goal.

You’ll do it.

Take that first leap of faith.

Where Will You Be In Your Future?

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

Woman gazing at futureCoaches often use future focused tools to help their clients envision how they’ll feel when they reach their life goals. These goals could be career goals, relationship goals, money goals or health and fitness goals.

Just about anything.

These tools focus on your ‘end game’. How will you feel when you reach these goals? Exactly what will your life look like when you get where you want to go?

The theory is if you can identify how you will feel when you lose weight or get out of debt, you can create that feeling right now in your life. And this will make reaching your goal much easier.

I’ve done it myself, and many of my clients do it all the time. It works.

But, in the heat of the moment when you’re facing down an unplanned purchase on an already maxed-out Visa, or a double fudge chocolate cupcake on an already maxed-out full tummy, the vision of your end game is harder to conjure up.

It seems that in the moment, the temptation of the food or the sale feel stronger and more tempting than your vision of your possible future.

So here’s what I do:

Start asking yourself what the consequence will be for you if you buy this, or eat this, and keep doing that for the next five years.

  • How will you feel?
  • What will you weigh?
  • What will your Visa bill look like?
  • Will you feel healthy and fit and energetic?
  • Will you have saved enough to buy your dream house or start your business?
  • Will you have the relationship you want?

In other words, if you keep doing what you are doing now, stop for a moment and really think about the road you are traveling on.

Where will this road lead?

If you don’t make a U-turn, are you okay with where you will end up?

If not, then use that vision of the future you DON’T want to spur you into action: put down that cupcake, put on your gym shoes, stop spending money you don’t really have and get away from that reality show.

Sometimes, knowing what’s ahead of you and what you don’t want can be a stronger motivator than the vision of what you do want.

Every Bite Counts

Tuesday, February 7th, 2017

Woman eating bite size portion

“But I’m only eating healthy stuff,” some of my clients protest. “And I can’t lose weight! I’m stuck!”

Great quality, healthy food.

But.

It doesn’t really matter what you’re eating if you’re eating more than your body needs.

We all have systems in our body that aim to keep us at equilibrium.

Balance.

We get signals when we’re hungry, and then we eat to stock up on fuel.

We get signals when we’re no longer hungry, and we stop eating.

When we stop listening to these little, sometimes subtle signals, we take ourselves out of balance.

Out of equilibrium.

We get too hungry or too full.

When we get too hungry we usually compensate by overeating, swinging to the other end of the pendulum.

Geneen Roth used to say that for every restrictive diet we go on there is an equally strong and opposite binge waiting in the wings.

I agree.

So what I see a lot, in between the extreme restriction and the constant overeating, is that some of us are stealth nibblers.

Little tastes of different things. A bite here and a bite there.

Some high quality fuel, some junk.

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that when we are in this nibble habit, we are eating unconsciously.

My own specialty is passing the kitchen to get water to bring to my office and grabbing a handful of almonds. Healthy, right?

Or after a meal, I’ll grab some dried cherries, or dried papaya. Better than pie, I’ll think.

We pass the kitchen and grab what we left on the counter.

We don’t want to make a phone call, so we open the fridge and have a few bites of leftovers.

We’re tired in the afternoon so we make an apple and peanut butter plate.

But we’re not hungry.

What happens when we eat these little things and our body isn’t signaling us to eat?

We waste the food.

We waste it in our bodies.

Our bodies aren’t asking for a refueling, so we take it in and having no need for it we just store it as fat.

Just that simple.

So it doesn’t matter if it’s baby carrots and hummus or your kids’ French fries… if you’re not hungry, you don’t need it.

And if you eat it, it counts.

If it’s not water, it counts.

I challenge you, for one day, to notice every single bite you put into your mouth.

It doesn’t matter what it is.

Look at the Big Picture

Thursday, January 26th, 2017

Look at big pictureMaybe you’re one of my readers because you want to lose weight.

So many women do.

But you know in your heart that food, eating and weight are just pieces of the whole big picture of your life.

And if we stay on the surface, and just focus on the pieces, we’re not really solving the bigger puzzle.

Instead, looking on the surface, you may have found the answer to a question like, ‘How do I not raid the refrigerator this weekend when I visit my mother?’

But you didn’t find the answer to the Big Question, which is, ‘How do I lose this extra weight once and for all AND lose the whole problem?’

You don’t want a quick fix.

You want a real, lasting solution.

Who wants to be dealing with the same problem over and over again?

So many of us tend to look at solving the weight loss puzzle as a series of separate, unrelated situations:

  • If only I could learn how to not gain weight over the Christmas break.
  • How can I entertain for work this week and still be true to my eating plan?
  • I need to learn to stop snacking when my kids are moody after school today, when I’m not really hungry.

While each of these situations occurs frequently for many of my clients, it’s not each individual situation that’s our stumbling block.

Our stumbling blocks are the thoughts and patterns that keep showing up and ruling our lives.

And it’s our reactions to these repetitive habits that allow us to take that first unneeded bite, and not stop until the food is gone.

Stop reacting.

Step back from your life.

What seems to come up over and over again for you that derails your best efforts to lose weight?

Well, once you have identified the patterns, start creating some strategies.

Make your own rules for yourself.

You’re in charge.

You are not at the mercy of the world.

Things don’t just happen to you.

Just step back and think.

Put away the magnifying glass and look at the big picture.

Plan.

Strategize.

Prepare for what you know will show up.

Create personalized rules for yourself.

And get back in charge.

Ep 47 How to Divide Your Day to Manage Your Weight!

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2016

Episode 47: How to Divide Your Day to Manage Your Weight!

Do you ever feel like your day is running amok from the moment you wake up until the moment you crash on your pillow at night?

Dvide Day podcast 47

So many women just like you go, go, go all day long and feel like they have no control over their day. It stands to reason that if you think you have no control over your day, then chances of sticking to your eating plan are slim to none.

In order to be able to think and take a breath between activities and obligations and even remember what you’re trying to do, it helps to divide your day into sections and let yourself flow from one to the next.

And the key is intentionality.

Some days throw the unexpected at us. All day. But most days, even if they are hectic, have a rhythm to them.

Here’s what you’ll learn today about managing your day so you can stay focused on your eating goals:

  • Ease into your day with a morning routine, including deciding how you want your morning to go. And who you want to be as your day moves ahead.
  • Once you get to work, whatever your definition of work is, again, check in and decide what you want to happen and how you’d like to respond to things.
  • Do you consciously think about what’s coming up on the calendar? You should. Not in dread, but in the spirit of being in charge.
  • When you get home in the evening, again, build in a transition period to ease into your down time. Even if you have a lot more you’d like to accomplish.
  • How do you want to feel when you go to sleep? Do you know how to accomplish that feeling?

I am going to teach you how to mentally break your day in sections, and guide you to consciously choose how you want each part to go. And how you want to show up in each of those parts.

I’ll see you in the session!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 46 Question from a Listener — How to Know When to Eat and When to Stop

Tuesday, November 15th, 2016

Episode 46: Question from a Listener — How to Know When to Eat and When to Stop

I love my listeners! And that includes you! In this podcast, I talk about a letter I got from one of my listeners, with her permission.

When to Eat podcast 46

Like many of us, she has trouble hearing her body’s signals, so it’s hard to know when to start and when to stop eating.

Years of doing this can create lots of disconnection between your body and your mind. And it can create lots of extra weight.

So what’s the answer?

Getting back in touch with what hunger feels like, and responding to it.

I want you to eat when you are hungry and not ignore the hunger. On the other hand, when you do retrain yourself to feel that hunger, there is no need to panic.

Listen in as I coach this listener on how to be patient with her body, and create a way to be able to hear those faint hunger signals and strengthen them.

She’s on the right path, and so will you be.

I’ll see you on the podcast.

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Do You Try To Rush Through The Middle?

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

Almost everyone I work with is very excited in the beginning.

Woman in the middle of a raceAh, the beginning.

The honeymoon.

The bright-eyed, bushy-tailed version of you.

Ready to do anything.

In love with the thought of what’s to come.

Hot for results. Hot for the end.

Relish the Middle

Very soon we progress to the middle.

The shine wears off.

The brow sweats.

The enthusiasm lags.

Where’s the end you promised? This in-between stuff isn’t for me!

But.

This is the juicy part.

It’s where you grow.

It’s the part where you solve problems.

This is where you do the work.

For real.

Unglamorous.

Messy.

Inconvenient.

But super important.

Relish the middle.

It’s the only way to get to your end.

Ep 36 Do You Really Need to Cook to Eat Well and Lose Weight?

Tuesday, September 6th, 2016

Episode 36: Do You Really Need to Cook to Eat Well and Lose Weight?

Both sides of a good question.

Are you a gourmet cook? Me neither!

Cook Podcast 36

Sometimes I’m a takeout queen, and other times I’m prepping food for a healthy week.

It’s really good to know where you stand in the cooking question debate: to cook or not to cook? That is the question.

Here’s what we’ll cover in this coaching session that you need to know and think about:

  • How the way you choose to feed yourself determines the ease or difficulty of your weight loss.
  • Why you might choose to cook in order to eat better.
  • On the other hand, why eating out might be stressful… or, it might actually make feeding yourself much easier.
  • Why does it feel safer regarding food choices to eat at home?
  • How to look at your food sensitivities and allergies so you aren’t feeling deprived.
  • What if cooking just isn’t your thing?
  • What are some options to restaurants, if you don’t want to cook?
  • How to feel in charge of what and how you eat no matter what method you choose to get food.
  • How do you make an eating plan that works?
  • Why it’s important to actually make a decision about cooking or not cooking.

Let me help you face the facts and make a choice, so you have no guilt and you always know where your next meal is coming from.

Join me for this coaching session.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 28 How to Make Your Weight Loss Project THE Priority

Tuesday, July 12th, 2016

Episode 28: How to Make Your Weight Loss Project THE Priority

Are you on your own ‘to do’ list?

Weight Loss Priority Podcast 28

Let’s say you decide you want to lose weight. And you make a plan, and get everything you need to do all lined up. You’re ready. But somehow, even though you really want to do this, the everyday challenges of life come up and you simply forget to focus on what you want most.

Does that sound like something that happens to you? It’s more common than you think.

Today, I’m going to coach you and teach you how to avoid this pitfall. I’m going to show you how to keep your Project YOU the ultimate priority, so you can get it done.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • What happens in the honeymoon stage of any weight loss program you’re on.
  • Why knowing how much weight you’d like to lose isn’t enough.
  • When you look at someone and envy the ease they seem to have about eating, what’s the most important thing you should be focusing on.
  • How your innocent thoughts can sabotage your best efforts.
  • Is planning really important? Why? And how can you make it less painful?
  • Why it doesn’t work to just look at your plan day by day, and why you need to think a week at a time.
  • What’s the difference between planning and prepping?
  • How to get and stay motivated, all by yourself.

If anyone can do this, I know for sure that you can too. But planning ahead of time makes it a whole lot easier. I hope you enjoy this coaching session and make yourself a priority.

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/free-gifts/

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if coaching is the solution to your struggle. You may also email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Ep 3 How To Eat Like a Naturally Slim Woman

Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

Episode 3: How To Eat Like a Naturally Slim Woman

Podcast 3 How To Eat Like a Naturally Slim Woman

Your take-aways from this podcast episode are:

  • How to know when to start eating, no matter what.
  • How to know exactly when to stop eating – with no guesswork and no regrets.
  • Rating your hunger and fullness so there’s no wondering when to start eating and when to stop.
  • What is ‘enough’ food for you?
  • What do naturally slim women eat?

To get a copy of my FREE BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, go to: http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/book

Do you truly know the difference between real hunger and emotional hunger? They feel very different in your body. Learn how to identify them in your own body so that you can always know exactly what to do in any eating situation.

I’ll show you how to know which hunger signals to follow and which to dismiss.

No more eating whenever you think of it and then feeling stuffed, guilty and ashamed. I’ll teach you how to eat like a naturally slim woman who enjoys her food and consciously chooses what she eats and when, without drama, guilt or restriction. No regrets. Just results!

If you can, please leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!