Posts Tagged ‘emotional eating’

Take Off The Gloves

Tuesday, June 20th, 2017

Woman with Boxing GlovesAre you guilty of beating yourself up?

For things you do?

For things you wish you had done?

How about for how you feel?

Or for how you look?

Or famously, for what you weigh?

Am I leaving anything out?

At one point or another, we’ve probably all succumbed to self-beating. It’s a learned reaction.

Instead of feeling compassion and seeing what we might need to feel better, we whip ourselves with our words or our thoughts.

And we add insult to injury.

Maybe we think that if we don’t put on boxing gloves and whip ourselves into shape, we’ll be worse.

Do less.

Eat more.

Make more mistakes.

Gain more weight.

Here’s how the cycle goes:

  • We think something that makes us feel crappy.
  • Then we make it worse with how we talk to ourselves.
  • And then, in a desperate attempt to feel better somehow, we partake in a shadow comfort.

A shadow comfort gives us immediate gratification, but hurts us in the long run.

So if we overeat or overspend or overdrink to relieve the painful beating in our head, we’ll pay for it when we’re done.

And then the voice continues.

On and on and on.

There’s only one way out of this mess.

Stop.

Stop talking to yourself in a way that you’d NEVER talk to anyone else.

Be kind.

Take off the boxing gloves.

You deserve better.

How To Feel Cherished

Wednesday, June 7th, 2017

cherished babyMost of what we all want in life is to feel a certain way.

To feel loved.

Cherished.

Valued.

And we sometimes go to great lengths to get these feelings from the people in our lives.

The truth is no one can make us feel anything.

Good or bad.

It’s an inside job.

No matter what anyone else does, how we feel about it comes from how we think about it.

So why not take the shortcut?

Go directly to the person who CAN make you feel the way you desire: YOU.

You can love yourself.

You can cherish yourself.

You can appreciate yourself.

It’s so much less needy than waiting and hoping to get it from someone else.

Maybe it’s time to cherish yourself.

Fill your cup.

Go directly for the feel-good.

It’s the only sure way to get what you want.

It’s Not in There

Wednesday, May 24th, 2017

it’s not in thereDo you open your fridge every time you pass it?

Do you ever wonder what you’re looking for?

Are you looking for happiness?

For relief?

For a nap?

It’s not in there.

Are you looking for love?

For a friend?

For comfort?

It’s not there.

Are you looking for a better job?

Smaller bills?

A bigger paycheck?

It’s not there.

Are you looking for grateful kids?

For a more attentive husband?

For the answer to what you want to do with your life?

It’s not in there.

Nope.

Nothin’ in there but food.

Only good for hunger.

And some pleasure.

That’s it.

Episode 71: Learn How to Trade Your Old Thought Loops for New Ones

Tuesday, May 9th, 2017

Episode 71: Learn How to Trade Your Old Thought Loops for New Ones

If you’re like me and most of the people I work with privately and in my groups, you have certain thoughts that are your favorites.

Thought loops podcast 71

These thoughts go around and around in your mind, playing as often as the Top 10 songs on your local radio station.

The problem is, that many of these thought loops don’t help you. In fact, many of them keep you stuck and repeating old harmful patterns over and over.

Today in your coaching session we’re going to take a close look at your thought loops.

We’ll talk about what a thought loop actually is, how to know whether it helps or it hurts you, and why these loops are SO hard to break out of.

Of course, we will also talk about the way out: how to wake up to your own thought loops and decide what stays and what gets ditched, and why.

Join me in this coaching session and let’s take apart your Top 10 list and see if it’s worthy to be floating around in that beautiful mind of yours.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

How To Stop Running From Your Triggers

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

Stop Running From Your TriggersWhen we talk about triggers in the world of weight loss, we’re talking about automatic behaviors.

Or automatic feelings.

Or automatic thoughts.

When something or someone triggers us, usually it sets off a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings and actions that lead us right where we don’t want to go, to results we don’t want.

Most weight loss wisdom has taught us to avoid these triggers.

Quick, get out!

Step away from the situation, from the aggressive co-worker, from the tempting Oreo.

But after years of advising this to my clients, and using it in my own life, I’ve come to a totally different conclusion.

Don’t run from your triggers.

In fact, run TO your triggers.

Yes, that’s right.

Welcome whatever has pressed your buttons in the past.

And use it as an opportunity for growth.

Because if we keep avoiding and running from things we are sensitized to, we’ll never confront our thoughts and feelings long enough to create new ones, ones that won’t lead us down the slippery slope.

I used to dread being with my husband or kids if they were eating sweets or something I was trying to avoid (since I’m gluten and dairy sensitive, there ARE some things it’s in my best interest to avoid).

I stayed as far away as I could, all the while internally whining about how unfair life was. And resenting them for being able to eat something I chose not to eat.

Now I see it differently.

If I don’t avoid my triggers, I have to deal with those resentful thoughts. And being with my family while they might be eating something that is off limits for me (by my choice) lets me examine my beliefs about life not being fair, not getting my share, and all the other ‘poor me’ victim thoughts floating around in my head.

I recognize them, bring them to the surface, and deal with them.

It feels a whole lot better than running to another room every time someone else chooses to do something I don’t want to be doing.

So now, when my hubby brings out the Chunky Monkey, I can have my own version of ice cream that agrees with my body, or I can have, as Geneen Roth calls it, ‘another f@#&%!g growth opportunity’!

Bring it on!

Episode 69: Where Do I Start Making Changes for Weight Loss?

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

Episode 69: Where Do I Start Making Changes for Weight Loss?

Do you love these coaching sessions but don’t exactly know where to start?

Start podcast 69

Here is your answer: You start right here. You start with getting really clear on what your problem is. Define it.

Episode 1: The Difference Between Emotional Eating, Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating

You’d be amazed at how many clients over-exaggerate and generalize their problems. I want the facts, just the facts.

Once you’ve done that, I want you to get crystal clear on what’s gone wrong for you in the past. If you’re not sure, you’ll be doomed to repeating your mistakes over and over again. And we both know how useful that is!

Episode 2: Clearing Your Path to Weight Loss Success!

Click here to get a downloadable copy of my book, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, so you can begin to figure this out. It’s free for my listeners.

And then, create your project. Project YOU.

With all the moving parts and plans and goals and reasons why you’re doing this. Get it all out and organized and begin looking at it in a different way.

Episode 5: Working on Project YOU: Creating Your Weight Loss Blueprint

You can certainly do this. I’m certain. And this podcast will help you take the first steps.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Episode 68: Why You Need to Take a Leap of Faith

Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

Episode 68: Why You Need to Take a Leap of Faith

Whether you want to lose weight or stop bingeing, you need to do something differently than what you’ve always done.

Leap of faith podcast 68

And when you try to do something differently, you come up against your thinking.

What if this doesn’t work? What if I just can’t do it? What if I’m different?

What do you do now that you’ve come up against these roadblocks?

There is no proof that something you’ve never done before will work. Yet if you don’t take different actions, you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done. And you know what result that gives you, right?

So the answer is to do what you’ve never done.

How?

By taking a leap of faith. By making an educated choice to do something that is different and uncomfortable and has the potential to take you to the results you dream of.

How do you create a new practice of taking a leap of faith to help you in your journey to lose weight and stop bingeing?

Listen in as I coach you on exactly that: how to get yourself to do new things, things you know are good for you, even though you’ve never done them before.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Episode 67: Your Weight and Your Relationship

Tuesday, April 11th, 2017

Episode 67: Your Weight and Your Relationship

If you’ve ever been romantically involved with someone, and you struggle with your eating and your weight, this coaching session is for you.

Relationship podcast 67

What effect does your weight have on your relationship? And what effect does your relationship have on your eating and your weight?

The two seem so related, don’t they? You may eat when you fight with your partner, or when you feel angry with them, as if to say: this will show you!

And yet at the end of the day, when you eat too much food, the only one who suffers is you.

It’s time to learn to take care of yourself no matter how your intimate relationships are going.

Take responsibility for eating well no matter what. Learn to take charge of your own happiness, and you’ll find that no matter what your partner does, it shouldn’t and won’t affect your weight.

Does this sound like something you might need to hear? Relationships are SO important. But it all starts with your relationship with yourself.

Join me as we explore the connection between your relationship and your weight.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Why The No Hurry Approach To Weight Loss Works

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

the no hurry approachWhen it comes to achieving our goals, no matter what the goal, we all have one thing in common:

We want it now.

As in today.

Or even yesterday.

Why do we expect everything to happen so fast?

Well, we do live in a pretty speedy world.

  • Instant chats.
  • Faxes.
  • Emails.
  • Overnight express.
  • Microwaved food.
  • Express dating.

We have a drive thru for everything… meals, banking, oil changes, even dry cleaning.

In our life today it’s more outside of the norm to do anything slowly. We hurry from one thing to the next.

Consciously.

Deliberately.

And when it comes to food, eating and our bodies, we want to make changes that have instant results.

Want to change a habit?

Bingo! That shouldn’t take long, should it?

Sometimes we think that if we want change and are clear about what we want, and know why we want it, well then, it should happen immediately.

Real change can be quick.

As in an ‘aha’ moment.

An awakening.

A sudden shift in your perspective.

But for change to be lasting and deep, you have to practice it.

You have to create new pathways in your brain.

You have to set a new default for how you think.

And this takes time.

When you are trying to lose weight, you are looking for a physical change.

But that physical change needs to start on the inside.

So your thoughts, your deep beliefs and your feelings need to change.

Only then will it become easy to take the actions that will lead to weight loss.

Pounds of fat coming off your body are the results you want.

And this result is the last thing to show up, when you are making changes from the inside out.

So if you are looking for fast results, you are planting the seeds of failure.

You will be disappointed easily and give up on yourself.

This happens with some of my clients.

They start making small changes and start to move in the right direction. But very quickly they become impatient and fall off track. Their desire for fast results derails them.

So what’s a good way to think about time when you’re trying to lose weight or get fit?

  • There is no hurry.
  • Feeling pressured and rushed won’t allow you to be thoughtful and aware of what you are doing.
  • Tiny changes work.
  • Consistency works.
  • Time has a way of bringing together small efforts and repetition and multiplies their effects.

So instead of going the quick fix route, instead of looking for the magic pill, look to see what small, sustainable changes you can make.

Your results will be huge.

Be patient. Don’t hurry.

It will come.

Are You Greedy For More?

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

Greedy womanSometimes, when I’m eating something really delicious, I have a hard time stopping. I was hungry when I started, and I thoroughly enjoyed what I ate, and now, well, I want to keep going.

Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes, stopping brings up our issues.

Do we feel like we never have enough?

Enough love, money, food, connections?

Do we want to keep eating to avoid thinking about something?

Or feeling something?

Or doing something?

I’m sure you’ve been there.

But how about when you want to keep eating because it tastes so absolutely yummy?

I’ve been noticing myself doing that lately.

The one piece of chocolate becomes two or three.

The two little gummy bears are so good. I have to go back for more.

Well, here’s the deal.

Sometimes there isn’t necessarily an issue.

Sometimes we are just greedy for more of something good.

Often, we’re so stingy with ourselves, that we rarely give ourselves a treat.

Especially if we’re trying to lose weight.

And when we finally give ourselves a taste of something purely for pleasure, it’s tough to stop. We may feel overwhelmed by the pleasure of it.

So maybe sometimes, when we can’t stop, we’re just being greedy.

I don’t mean that you should use this thought to beat yourself up with. Or to use as evidence that there’s something wrong with you.

There isn’t.

But, even though something is delicious, doesn’t mean we should just roll over and keep eating it.

After all, we’re in charge of ourselves.

And while once in a while going overboard feels great, if we do it regularly, it won’t feel good.

Nor will it give us the results we’re looking for.

So if you’ve been feeling a little greedy lately, and there isn’t a life theme or big emotional issue driving you, here’s what you can do:

Take yourself by the hand, and lead yourself away from the gummies. Do what’s in your best interest. Resist being greedy just to be greedy.

When something tastes fabulous, watch your next thought.

The fact that it tastes great isn’t a command.

It’s just an observation.

This tastes unbelievable! I love it! It’s great!

Period.

The next thought does not have to be: ‘And I must have more’.

Just consider that even after observing how delicious something is, your next thought can be, ‘so what!’

Don’t create a command for yourself.

Enjoy, and step back.

There’s always next time.