Posts Tagged ‘emotional eating’

How To Stop Running From Your Triggers

Wednesday, April 26th, 2017

Stop Running From Your TriggersWhen we talk about triggers in the world of weight loss, we’re talking about automatic behaviors.

Or automatic feelings.

Or automatic thoughts.

When something or someone triggers us, usually it sets off a chain reaction of thoughts, feelings and actions that lead us right where we don’t want to go, to results we don’t want.

Most weight loss wisdom has taught us to avoid these triggers.

Quick, get out!

Step away from the situation, from the aggressive co-worker, from the tempting Oreo.

But after years of advising this to my clients, and using it in my own life, I’ve come to a totally different conclusion.

Don’t run from your triggers.

In fact, run TO your triggers.

Yes, that’s right.

Welcome whatever has pressed your buttons in the past.

And use it as an opportunity for growth.

Because if we keep avoiding and running from things we are sensitized to, we’ll never confront our thoughts and feelings long enough to create new ones, ones that won’t lead us down the slippery slope.

I used to dread being with my husband or kids if they were eating sweets or something I was trying to avoid (since I’m gluten and dairy sensitive, there ARE some things it’s in my best interest to avoid).

I stayed as far away as I could, all the while internally whining about how unfair life was. And resenting them for being able to eat something I chose not to eat.

Now I see it differently.

If I don’t avoid my triggers, I have to deal with those resentful thoughts. And being with my family while they might be eating something that is off limits for me (by my choice) lets me examine my beliefs about life not being fair, not getting my share, and all the other ‘poor me’ victim thoughts floating around in my head.

I recognize them, bring them to the surface, and deal with them.

It feels a whole lot better than running to another room every time someone else chooses to do something I don’t want to be doing.

So now, when my hubby brings out the Chunky Monkey, I can have my own version of ice cream that agrees with my body, or I can have, as Geneen Roth calls it, ‘another f@#&%!g growth opportunity’!

Bring it on!

Episode 69: Where Do I Start Making Changes for Weight Loss?

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

Episode 69: Where Do I Start Making Changes for Weight Loss?

Do you love these coaching sessions but don’t exactly know where to start?

Start podcast 69

Here is your answer: You start right here. You start with getting really clear on what your problem is. Define it.

Episode 1: The Difference Between Emotional Eating, Binge Eating and Compulsive Overeating

You’d be amazed at how many clients over-exaggerate and generalize their problems. I want the facts, just the facts.

Once you’ve done that, I want you to get crystal clear on what’s gone wrong for you in the past. If you’re not sure, you’ll be doomed to repeating your mistakes over and over again. And we both know how useful that is!

Episode 2: Clearing Your Path to Weight Loss Success!

Click here to get a downloadable copy of my book, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, so you can begin to figure this out. It’s free for my listeners.

And then, create your project. Project YOU.

With all the moving parts and plans and goals and reasons why you’re doing this. Get it all out and organized and begin looking at it in a different way.

Episode 5: Working on Project YOU: Creating Your Weight Loss Blueprint

You can certainly do this. I’m certain. And this podcast will help you take the first steps.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Episode 68: Why You Need to Take a Leap of Faith

Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

Episode 68: Why You Need to Take a Leap of Faith

Whether you want to lose weight or stop bingeing, you need to do something differently than what you’ve always done.

Leap of faith podcast 68

And when you try to do something differently, you come up against your thinking.

What if this doesn’t work? What if I just can’t do it? What if I’m different?

What do you do now that you’ve come up against these roadblocks?

There is no proof that something you’ve never done before will work. Yet if you don’t take different actions, you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done. And you know what result that gives you, right?

So the answer is to do what you’ve never done.

How?

By taking a leap of faith. By making an educated choice to do something that is different and uncomfortable and has the potential to take you to the results you dream of.

How do you create a new practice of taking a leap of faith to help you in your journey to lose weight and stop bingeing?

Listen in as I coach you on exactly that: how to get yourself to do new things, things you know are good for you, even though you’ve never done them before.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Episode 67: Your Weight and Your Relationship

Tuesday, April 11th, 2017

Episode 67: Your Weight and Your Relationship

If you’ve ever been romantically involved with someone, and you struggle with your eating and your weight, this coaching session is for you.

Relationship podcast 67

What effect does your weight have on your relationship? And what effect does your relationship have on your eating and your weight?

The two seem so related, don’t they? You may eat when you fight with your partner, or when you feel angry with them, as if to say: this will show you!

And yet at the end of the day, when you eat too much food, the only one who suffers is you.

It’s time to learn to take care of yourself no matter how your intimate relationships are going.

Take responsibility for eating well no matter what. Learn to take charge of your own happiness, and you’ll find that no matter what your partner does, it shouldn’t and won’t affect your weight.

Does this sound like something you might need to hear? Relationships are SO important. But it all starts with your relationship with yourself.

Join me as we explore the connection between your relationship and your weight.

Talk with Cookie

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Why The No Hurry Approach To Weight Loss Works

Wednesday, March 22nd, 2017

the no hurry approachWhen it comes to achieving our goals, no matter what the goal, we all have one thing in common:

We want it now.

As in today.

Or even yesterday.

Why do we expect everything to happen so fast?

Well, we do live in a pretty speedy world.

  • Instant chats.
  • Faxes.
  • Emails.
  • Overnight express.
  • Microwaved food.
  • Express dating.

We have a drive thru for everything… meals, banking, oil changes, even dry cleaning.

In our life today it’s more outside of the norm to do anything slowly. We hurry from one thing to the next.

Consciously.

Deliberately.

And when it comes to food, eating and our bodies, we want to make changes that have instant results.

Want to change a habit?

Bingo! That shouldn’t take long, should it?

Sometimes we think that if we want change and are clear about what we want, and know why we want it, well then, it should happen immediately.

Real change can be quick.

As in an ‘aha’ moment.

An awakening.

A sudden shift in your perspective.

But for change to be lasting and deep, you have to practice it.

You have to create new pathways in your brain.

You have to set a new default for how you think.

And this takes time.

When you are trying to lose weight, you are looking for a physical change.

But that physical change needs to start on the inside.

So your thoughts, your deep beliefs and your feelings need to change.

Only then will it become easy to take the actions that will lead to weight loss.

Pounds of fat coming off your body are the results you want.

And this result is the last thing to show up, when you are making changes from the inside out.

So if you are looking for fast results, you are planting the seeds of failure.

You will be disappointed easily and give up on yourself.

This happens with some of my clients.

They start making small changes and start to move in the right direction. But very quickly they become impatient and fall off track. Their desire for fast results derails them.

So what’s a good way to think about time when you’re trying to lose weight or get fit?

  • There is no hurry.
  • Feeling pressured and rushed won’t allow you to be thoughtful and aware of what you are doing.
  • Tiny changes work.
  • Consistency works.
  • Time has a way of bringing together small efforts and repetition and multiplies their effects.

So instead of going the quick fix route, instead of looking for the magic pill, look to see what small, sustainable changes you can make.

Your results will be huge.

Be patient. Don’t hurry.

It will come.

Are You Greedy For More?

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017

Greedy womanSometimes, when I’m eating something really delicious, I have a hard time stopping. I was hungry when I started, and I thoroughly enjoyed what I ate, and now, well, I want to keep going.

Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes, stopping brings up our issues.

Do we feel like we never have enough?

Enough love, money, food, connections?

Do we want to keep eating to avoid thinking about something?

Or feeling something?

Or doing something?

I’m sure you’ve been there.

But how about when you want to keep eating because it tastes so absolutely yummy?

I’ve been noticing myself doing that lately.

The one piece of chocolate becomes two or three.

The two little gummy bears are so good. I have to go back for more.

Well, here’s the deal.

Sometimes there isn’t necessarily an issue.

Sometimes we are just greedy for more of something good.

Often, we’re so stingy with ourselves, that we rarely give ourselves a treat.

Especially if we’re trying to lose weight.

And when we finally give ourselves a taste of something purely for pleasure, it’s tough to stop. We may feel overwhelmed by the pleasure of it.

So maybe sometimes, when we can’t stop, we’re just being greedy.

I don’t mean that you should use this thought to beat yourself up with. Or to use as evidence that there’s something wrong with you.

There isn’t.

But, even though something is delicious, doesn’t mean we should just roll over and keep eating it.

After all, we’re in charge of ourselves.

And while once in a while going overboard feels great, if we do it regularly, it won’t feel good.

Nor will it give us the results we’re looking for.

So if you’ve been feeling a little greedy lately, and there isn’t a life theme or big emotional issue driving you, here’s what you can do:

Take yourself by the hand, and lead yourself away from the gummies. Do what’s in your best interest. Resist being greedy just to be greedy.

When something tastes fabulous, watch your next thought.

The fact that it tastes great isn’t a command.

It’s just an observation.

This tastes unbelievable! I love it! It’s great!

Period.

The next thought does not have to be: ‘And I must have more’.

Just consider that even after observing how delicious something is, your next thought can be, ‘so what!’

Don’t create a command for yourself.

Enjoy, and step back.

There’s always next time.

Where Will You Be In Your Future?

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2017

Woman gazing at futureCoaches often use future focused tools to help their clients envision how they’ll feel when they reach their life goals. These goals could be career goals, relationship goals, money goals or health and fitness goals.

Just about anything.

These tools focus on your ‘end game’. How will you feel when you reach these goals? Exactly what will your life look like when you get where you want to go?

The theory is if you can identify how you will feel when you lose weight or get out of debt, you can create that feeling right now in your life. And this will make reaching your goal much easier.

I’ve done it myself, and many of my clients do it all the time. It works.

But, in the heat of the moment when you’re facing down an unplanned purchase on an already maxed-out Visa, or a double fudge chocolate cupcake on an already maxed-out full tummy, the vision of your end game is harder to conjure up.

It seems that in the moment, the temptation of the food or the sale feel stronger and more tempting than your vision of your possible future.

So here’s what I do:

Start asking yourself what the consequence will be for you if you buy this, or eat this, and keep doing that for the next five years.

  • How will you feel?
  • What will you weigh?
  • What will your Visa bill look like?
  • Will you feel healthy and fit and energetic?
  • Will you have saved enough to buy your dream house or start your business?
  • Will you have the relationship you want?

In other words, if you keep doing what you are doing now, stop for a moment and really think about the road you are traveling on.

Where will this road lead?

If you don’t make a U-turn, are you okay with where you will end up?

If not, then use that vision of the future you DON’T want to spur you into action: put down that cupcake, put on your gym shoes, stop spending money you don’t really have and get away from that reality show.

Sometimes, knowing what’s ahead of you and what you don’t want can be a stronger motivator than the vision of what you do want.

Episode 59: The Absolute Worst Thing You Can Eat if You Want to Lose Weight

Tuesday, February 14th, 2017

Episode 59: The Absolute Worst Thing You Can Eat if You Want to Lose Weight

Do you wish someone could just give you the magic key to the kingdom and tell you what to eat?

Worst to eat podcast 59

How much of your life does binge eating consume? If you want your life back, we know exactly what you need to do. And, you can do this. Find out more here.

So many of my clients want just that. They don’t want to work, they just want the answer to the lifelong question: What do I have to do to lose weight?

Is that your question, too?

If it is, here is the answer: Eat like a naturally slim woman.

Manage your mind and your emotions so you don’t eat your feelings. And learn how to take the best care of yourself.

That’s right. The basics.

If your next response is: I already know that, then this coaching session is perfect for you.

Join me as I lead you in a brief coaching session and show you why the basics work and how you might be sabotaging yourself without realizing it.

I will see you inside!

Make sure you get your FREE copy of my BOOK, Clearing Your Path to Permanent Weight Loss, plus other gifts. Get them here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/gifts

THE FREEDOM COACHING GROUP: If you’ve ever dreamed about having your own personal coach to work on your eating with you, you’re closer than you think. My coaching group is happening now! It’s super affordable, supportive, and an amazing resource if you struggle with overeating, emotional eating or binge eating. Take all you’re learning here on the podcast and go to the next level. Click here: http://weightlossmadereal.com/group to get all the details and join our group Weight Loss Made Real: The Freedom Group. Because really, isn’t freedom what we all want? I hope to see you in the group!

If you are ready to take your weight loss and eating issues to the next level, it’s time to talk with me. Visit http://www.weightlossmadereal.com/talk for a free consultation with Cookie and find out if private coaching is the solution to your struggle.

I always welcome your letters. You may email me at cookie@realweightlossrealwomen.com

I’d so appreciate it if you would leave me an honest rating and review on iTunes at http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/itunes. It will help the show and its ranking in iTunes a lot! How to rate and review on iTunes: http://realweightlossrealwomen.com/rate. Thank you and enjoy the show!

Every Bite Counts

Tuesday, February 7th, 2017

Woman eating bite size portion

“But I’m only eating healthy stuff,” some of my clients protest. “And I can’t lose weight! I’m stuck!”

Great quality, healthy food.

But.

It doesn’t really matter what you’re eating if you’re eating more than your body needs.

We all have systems in our body that aim to keep us at equilibrium.

Balance.

We get signals when we’re hungry, and then we eat to stock up on fuel.

We get signals when we’re no longer hungry, and we stop eating.

When we stop listening to these little, sometimes subtle signals, we take ourselves out of balance.

Out of equilibrium.

We get too hungry or too full.

When we get too hungry we usually compensate by overeating, swinging to the other end of the pendulum.

Geneen Roth used to say that for every restrictive diet we go on there is an equally strong and opposite binge waiting in the wings.

I agree.

So what I see a lot, in between the extreme restriction and the constant overeating, is that some of us are stealth nibblers.

Little tastes of different things. A bite here and a bite there.

Some high quality fuel, some junk.

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that when we are in this nibble habit, we are eating unconsciously.

My own specialty is passing the kitchen to get water to bring to my office and grabbing a handful of almonds. Healthy, right?

Or after a meal, I’ll grab some dried cherries, or dried papaya. Better than pie, I’ll think.

We pass the kitchen and grab what we left on the counter.

We don’t want to make a phone call, so we open the fridge and have a few bites of leftovers.

We’re tired in the afternoon so we make an apple and peanut butter plate.

But we’re not hungry.

What happens when we eat these little things and our body isn’t signaling us to eat?

We waste the food.

We waste it in our bodies.

Our bodies aren’t asking for a refueling, so we take it in and having no need for it we just store it as fat.

Just that simple.

So it doesn’t matter if it’s baby carrots and hummus or your kids’ French fries… if you’re not hungry, you don’t need it.

And if you eat it, it counts.

If it’s not water, it counts.

I challenge you, for one day, to notice every single bite you put into your mouth.

It doesn’t matter what it is.

Look at the Big Picture

Thursday, January 26th, 2017

Look at big pictureMaybe you’re one of my readers because you want to lose weight.

So many women do.

But you know in your heart that food, eating and weight are just pieces of the whole big picture of your life.

And if we stay on the surface, and just focus on the pieces, we’re not really solving the bigger puzzle.

Instead, looking on the surface, you may have found the answer to a question like, ‘How do I not raid the refrigerator this weekend when I visit my mother?’

But you didn’t find the answer to the Big Question, which is, ‘How do I lose this extra weight once and for all AND lose the whole problem?’

You don’t want a quick fix.

You want a real, lasting solution.

Who wants to be dealing with the same problem over and over again?

So many of us tend to look at solving the weight loss puzzle as a series of separate, unrelated situations:

  • If only I could learn how to not gain weight over the Christmas break.
  • How can I entertain for work this week and still be true to my eating plan?
  • I need to learn to stop snacking when my kids are moody after school today, when I’m not really hungry.

While each of these situations occurs frequently for many of my clients, it’s not each individual situation that’s our stumbling block.

Our stumbling blocks are the thoughts and patterns that keep showing up and ruling our lives.

And it’s our reactions to these repetitive habits that allow us to take that first unneeded bite, and not stop until the food is gone.

Stop reacting.

Step back from your life.

What seems to come up over and over again for you that derails your best efforts to lose weight?

Well, once you have identified the patterns, start creating some strategies.

Make your own rules for yourself.

You’re in charge.

You are not at the mercy of the world.

Things don’t just happen to you.

Just step back and think.

Put away the magnifying glass and look at the big picture.

Plan.

Strategize.

Prepare for what you know will show up.

Create personalized rules for yourself.

And get back in charge.