Archive for the ‘Motivation’ Category

Be THE Best? Or Be YOUR Best?

Wednesday, September 27th, 2017

Be your bestWhat’s the difference?

Well, when you want to be the best, you push yourself.

You compare yourself to what others are doing.

You decide where you fit in on the curve.

And you take actions based on your position.

(Sometimes you take NO actions based on your position!)

You also judge your worth based on that position.

Could striving to be THE best push you to leave your comfort zone and achieve a lot?

Maybe.

But it is hard to define.

And by definition, there’s only one in each category.

So, what does that make you if you’re not THE best?

Now, what if, instead, you strove to be YOUR best?

You push yourself.

You set goals.

You move out of your comfort zone

You don’t compare yourself to others.

You don’t measure yourself on the curve.

And you certainly don’t judge yourself based on your position.

BUT, you grow.

You move.

You change.

And your only comparison is YOU to YOU.

I don’t know about you, but to me, that feels a whole lot friendlier and more supportive.

Me? I’m going to work to be MY best.

The heck with being THE best.

What Does Your Extra Weight Look Like?

Thursday, November 24th, 2016

extra weightWhen you’re carrying some extra weight on your body, it’s easy to get used to it. You develop coping mechanisms that allow you to function without being painfully aware of what’s bothering you every minute of the day.

Of course, at certain times you’re more aware of it than usual.

  • Like when you’re shopping for clothes and looking in the dressing room mirror.
  • Or when you’re worried about fitting into an airplane seat without spilling over into your neighbor’s seat.
  • Or when you get winded going up a simple flight of stairs.

But on an everyday basis, if you spend most of your day sitting at a desk, you may not be aware of what you are literally carrying around all the time.

I think it’s good to give yourself a wakeup call. And become sensitive to what it means to have an extra 10 or 30 or 75 pounds on your body.

Look around your house or go to the grocery store and pick out some items that weigh close to the same amount of weight you’d like to lose.

Think of a bag of kitty litter… pick up that 10 or 20 pound bag to see what it feels like.

Look at four sticks of butter, a mere pound. Picture yourself having 40 of those sticks, 10 pounds, stuffed into your pockets all day long.

I’m no wimp but the bags my dog’s food comes in, 25 pounds each, are heavy to lug into my car trunk.

Now, visualize that all day, every day you have extra weight on your body, you are ‘carrying’ something extra with you all the time. Day and night. Up and down the stairs. In all your social interactions. At work.

It’s extra.

You don’t need it.

Physically, things would be easier if you dropped your extra load.

Left it by the curb.

Let go of what was slowing you down and not adding to your life.

Carrying around extra weight all day every day packs a big cost.

Are you willing to keep paying?

This week, I challenge you to look and find some physical equivalent of the weight you’d like to lose.

And put it in front of you.

Carry it around for a period of time.

Become very aware of what that extra weight feels like on your body, and how good it feels to put it down.

Conversely, as you begin to release your body’s extra weight, it helps to look at the physical equivalent of what you’ve lost, to remind yourself of what you are no longer carrying around.

And how much better you feel.

Sometimes we all need a reminder of what we get used to.

We stop seeing it.

We can’t feel it.

Making it physical makes it real again.

And that helps us have the motivation to do something about it.

You’re More In Control Than You Think

Thursday, June 9th, 2016

You're more in control than you thinkOne of the lies we tell ourselves when we’re not happy with our weight is that we’re out of control.

So, let me ask you: What’s your weight right now?

Okay, now tell me why you don’t weigh 50 pounds more than that?

What’s that you say?

Oh, I see. You have an ‘upper limit’. That is, when your weight reaches a certain number, a number you have decided is a line you don’t want to cross, you change your behavior.

In most cases, when the scale reflects your upper limit back to you, you start thinking, feeling and acting in a way that promotes weight loss. Or at least stops weight gain.

So here’s my point.

We’re never really out of control when it comes to what and how much we eat. When we think a particular thought, that thought creates a feeling. That feeling prompts us to take an action.

When our thoughts are aligned with our true desires, we get what we want.

We eat with more awareness.

We make better choices.

We stop eating when we’re satisfied.

We stop gaining weight and eventually release our extra weight.

You’re In Control

Be open to the idea that you’re always in charge.

In the world of weight loss, you are constantly choosing thoughts that either move you towards overeating, or thoughts that move you towards listening to your body.

All you have to do is draw the line sooner.

Lower your upper limit.

You are in charge. In control.

It’s Time To Wake Up!

Thursday, April 28th, 2016

wake upA while ago I went on my first college visit with my oldest daughter Sara.

Since I attended a city college in New York, this campus visit was a first in many ways. I had never lived in a dorm, nor had I gone through the process of visiting and choosing a school.

I had both my girls later in life, so I am, ahem, an older parent. I know this. I’ve always known this. But it didn’t hit home until I found myself walking on the campus and being surrounded by hordes of young people.

The atmosphere was electrifying.

Everywhere, people were walking purposefully to class, to study, to the library, to meet friends…and all seemed full of energy.

I was suddenly confronted with several significant facts.

My daughter, who, it seems, was only recently a baby, was now applying to colleges and going on job interviews.

Where did the time go?

And somehow, in the process of her rapid advance towards young adulthood, somehow, I had aged. Greatly.

I’ll give you an example.

While Sara was on a campus tour with a friend’s daughter, my husband, I and our younger daughter Sophia went into Urban Outfitters to browse around.

Spying a straw hat, which I thought was perfect for our upcoming spring break, I slipped into an aisle with a mirror, popped on the hat, and for further effect, put on my sunglasses.

As I studied myself in the mirror, thinking, ‘Not bad!’, I sensed someone watching me. I turned my head and found Sophia, my other teen daughter, staring at me.

The look on her face can only be described as “I DON’T KNOW YOU!” Her embarrassment made me laugh. Maybe a little too hysterically.

I didn’t belong.

I didn’t fit into this youthful crowd, in this youthful store, filled with merchandise meant for teens and twenty-somethings.

I could handle that.

I bought the hat anyway.

But for the rest of the day, I felt a strange stirring.

An awakening.

That old cliché about time moving quickly… it was true.

How did I get to be an upcoming empty-nester so quickly? I can honestly remember playing Barney songs in the car!

I still haven’t formed a movie group, gone to New Mexico, taken dance lessons, or become a more adventurous cook. Where did all the time go?

The young people around me walked with purpose. They had the excitement of unlimited futures in front of them.

How had I gone into the trance of life? And was there time to wake up?

Yes!

I took the brief envy I felt and turned it into a wakeup call.

Until the day I no longer wake up, there will always be time.

Every day, I want to remember that today counts.

Every moment counts. Every decision.

I don’t want to fritter away what I have left.

I want to wake up!

What Will It Take?

Wednesday, March 9th, 2016

What will it take to get to where you want?A while back, the Wall Street Journal had an article that caught my eye, entitled “Second Acts – What do you do for an encore?”

The article profiled four people aged 50 to 65, all of whom completely reinvented themselves at midlife.

One particular woman piqued my attention. Lisa Fisco.

Lisa is a 50 year old woman who spent the first half of her life as a television producer. She’s a single mother who worked hard to make ends meet. Eventually the struggle and stress took its toll on her health.

Her constant exhaustion and pressure triggered her to overeat, and she ended up gaining 100 extra pounds.

Lisa was a former athlete, who used to play soccer and rugby in college. And now her life and her body were almost unrecognizable to her.

So what did she do?

She didn’t join a health club.

She didn’t get a personal trainer.

Or go on a diet.

She decided to train for the Olympic weight-lifting team.

Yes, the Olympics.

As a young girl Lisa loved lifting weights with her dad, and watching the events with him during the Olympic Games.

She researched, found a coach and decided that she would do whatever it took to be in the 2012 Olympics games.

Whatever it took.

She quit her job and took a less demanding job, allowing her time to train five hours a day, five to six days a week.

To say she is committed is such an understatement.

In the process of ongoing training, Lisa lost 100 pounds, and is in the process of losing more to qualify for a lower weight class.

She must win several preliminary competitions to reach her goal of making the Olympic team. If she does, she will be the oldest Olympic weight lifter in the history of the Olympics.

And here are her words: “It’s not that life is so short; it’s just we wait so long to begin.”

And there you have it.

What are you waiting for? What do you dream about?

What have you told yourself is just too hard?

Dreams don’t die, but efforts fade and focus changes.

What will it take for you to be the person you dream of?

To finally lose the extra weight you are carrying around?

To make peace with exactly who you are?

To take steps to create the daily life you long for?

If anyone has ever done what you want to do, then you can too.

But maybe we should take some lessons from Lisa.

  1. It’s never too late to have a second act. Or a third. Or a fourth.
  2. Instead of focusing on how hard things will be, simply say, “What will it take?” and start with baby steps.
  3. Don’t keep putting off what you really want.

All we know for sure is what our reality is right now.

We don’t know what the future holds.

But you can bet that Lisa Fisco looked straight at her reality, and knew that she didn’t want more of the same in her future.

So she simply started with: What will it take?

P.S. This picture is NOT Lisa Fisco. But you get the idea.

Who’s Your Role Model?

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

role modelI recently saw an ad for the drug Singulair. The tag line caught my eye. It said, “Someone who’s got what you’ve got is out doing what you’re not.” The model in the ad was exercising. The ad was for a drug for treating asthma.

But it made me think.

Every week, my clients and I set ‘weekly intentions’. These are things they want to focus on for the week. Things they want to achieve.

Sometimes they do.

  • They take that walk.
  • They wait to be hungry to eat.
  • They say what they feel instead of stuffing down that brownie.

But sometimes, they are full of reasons why they didn’t make it happen. Why they didn’t do what will give them what they really want.

Yet, for every reason (or excuse) they come up with, there is someone out there who is doing what my clients WANT to do.

Someone who is saying no.

Someone who is making herself a priority.

Someone who is planning ahead.

So, how can you get yourself to do what you know you want to do?

First, find a good role model.

Not the friend you can call who will bring over burgers and fries when things don’t go as planned.

Not the co-worker who needs to take a day off when anyone criticizes her work.

Pick someone who is doing what you WANT to be doing.

Study them.

Be aware: this is different from picking a celebrity and wanting to have her face or body.

This is picking a regular, everyday person, who lives a life similar to you, but who somehow manages to do what you don’t.

Because if anyone can do what you are trying to do, then you can too.

Absolutely.

So stop looking at people who are struggling.

Look at people who are just a few steps ahead of you.

You can do this.

It’s a Miracle!

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

miracle

Why do you want to lose weight?

There are about a million surface reasons why most of us want to lose weight. Deep down, it comes to wanting to feel good about ourselves.

But in the heat of the moment, when you’re staring down a piece of cherry pie (my personal favorite) and you’re not hungry, it helps to have a really strong ‘why’.

How do you want to feel when you’re at your ideal weight?

Proud… confident… empowered?

How will you walk? How will you carry yourself? What will be different about you, besides your size? How will the people in your life treat you? How will you treat yourself?

Now, picture yourself waking up one day. While you were sleeping, a miracle happened. Your body is at its comfortable, natural weight.

Visualize yourself going through your day.

What would you eat for breakfast? Why? Would choosing this food feel difficult or effortless?

Do you exercise?

How does it feel to be in this new body? See yourself getting dressed. Picture it in detail. Go through your whole day, imagining all your actions and interactions, your thoughts, your feelings.

Notice how good you feel.

Now, come back to the present.

Everything in the miracle you just imagined can start right now.

Because all the good feelings you just had… came from your thoughts.

So, if you can imagine those feelings in your daydream, you have the ability to create them right now.

And the better you feel right now, the easier it will be to take actions that will lead you to your natural weight.

Take a hint from how elite athletes prepare for a competition: envision yourself at your goal weight–not just how you will look and what you will wear, but more importantly, how you will feel.

Choose these feelings for yourself now.

You’ll be amazed at how much easier weight loss will be.

Why You Need To Learn To Motivate Yourself

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2015


Motivate yourself

When my private clients have a consultation with me, and decide to work with me on their weight and eating issues, there’s one thing they all want.

They want and expect me to motivate them.

I smile to myself when I hear this. Because I know that no one can motivate another person. Motivation is an inside job. One that only you can do for yourself.

Someone can hold you accountable for your goals. And they can cheerlead for you. But no one can light the spark of excitement that makes you WANT to do something.

That has to come from you. From knowing what you want. And why you want it. And wanting it more than you want almost anything else. Well, maybe not more than world peace. But most everything else.

And once you know all those things, and are really clear, then you need to find a way to pay attention to what you want. Every day. Yes! Every day you need to place your attention on what you want and how you’ll go about getting it.

You can get support. You can learn new things that will aid your quest of your goal. And there are tons of tools I give my clients.

But like most of life, it’s you, baby. It’s you who needs to get and stay excited.

How do you motivate yourself?

What If You Were the Exception?

Wednesday, September 9th, 2015

Different opinionWho says it isn’t possible to stop eating emotionally? What if you were the exception?

If you are one of millions of women who turn to food when they’re upset, I’m sure you’ve read the statistics.

The statistics say that 96% of all women who try to lose weight will fail.

And even if they succeed, then most of those who do lose weight will fail to keep the weight off.

These are pretty grim statistics, no matter how you look at it.

How These Statistics Affect You

What happens when we read these bleak reports? First, we immediately reinforce the belief that ending our emotionally eating is hard.

So hard, in fact, that hardly anyone can do it.

And, if hardly anyone can do it, then you certainly don’t truly expect to be able to conquer this challenge yourself.

So before we even start down the road of weight loss and emotional eating, we are already giving ourselves ‘an out’. We know it’s ‘probable’ that we will fail. And our journey will be really, really hard.

What These Thoughts Do To You

When we think thoughts like these, when we read stories about the struggle of weight loss, we create an uphill battle for ourselves.

We give ourselves a built in excuse.

And we set ourselves up to fail.

So What if Diets Really Don’t Work?

Let’s get real. Even if all the negative statistics are 100% accurate all the time for all people, there are still those who are successful.

There is an exception to every rule.

If 96% fail, that means that 4% are successful.

I want you to switch your focus from being doomed to fail to wanting to be the exception.

I want you to be that 4%. I want you to do things differently.

Now, What Should You Do?

If you tend to eat emotionally, create a way out.

Yes, there is a way out.

Don’t look at what the 96% have done. You don’t want to go down that same road. Instead, focus on what the 4% have done.

Stop looking for an outside solution to an inside problem.

Put all of your energy and attention on figuring out why you are eating when you aren’t hungry. That’s where the answer lies.

Your goal isn’t to try to be tough. Or to develop your inner willpower.

Your goal is to learn how to think like a naturally slim woman.

She’s in that 4% category. She is the exception. And you can learn what works from her.

Can you really be the exception?

Yes.

And your first step is to believe that if anyone else has done it, then you can too.

Be the exception. Be the 4%.

Why Being Your Best Matters

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

Be The Best Version Of YouDid you ever hear artists or writers talk about their ‘body of work’?

It’s what they create, what they contribute to the world during their lifetime.

I’m not an artist. But I do consider that I have a responsibility to my body of work.

What’s my body of work?

It’s me. My life.

All that I am.

Because all that I am profoundly affects those I am connected with.

I believe that my life matters.

It’s the vehicle from which I contribute to the world.

And my contribution is important.

Your contribution is important too.

Maybe you’re not sure exactly what your contribution is.

Nevertheless, it exists.

Just by being in this world, you are having an effect on all people and things you come into contact with.

So the way I like to look at it, is that YOU are your body of work.

You.

Your brain, your ideas, your feelings, and your physical being.

You house the essence of you.

And you owe it to the world to be your best.

So if you feel like it doesn’t matter what you do, or whether you take care of yourself or not, or that being your best isn’t worth the effort, you are wrong, my friend.

You are your body of work, and it all matters.

What do you want to work on to be your best?