“But it’s hard to eat well when I travel” Is that true??

Yesterday was a travel day. Spring break. Up very early.

I brought healthy, good-tasting food with me to eat along the way.

But, by the time I was squished into my plane seat, watching my husband chowing down on a good looking sandwich and chips, I felt a longing. I wasn’t hungry, so what was going on?

My old ‘lack’ fears were coming up.

As David plunged into his second bag of chips, I disconnected from my body and connected to my old refrains of “it’s not fair” and “what if there’s not enough for me?”

I ate things without any hunger, and I ate things I wasn’t supposed to eat on my new doctor prescribed soy-dairy-gluten free Rx (don’t ask!). I threw caution to the wind and checked out.

In the moment, I put aside the concept of my own happiness and chose immediate gratification.

On and off, for the rest of the travel day, I found my old mantra coming up: “What the heck, I’m on vacation!”

So, I sat and wrote.

Travel and the Journal

I wrote in the journal that’s always with me. The one my family makes fun of, as in “Mom’s writing in her journal, again”.

I didn’t beat myself. That would be pointless.

But I was genuinely curious about why I chose to disconnect. So I wrote down my fears. I found my painful thoughts. And I replaced them with thoughts that made me feel better.

For the rest of the day and evening, I stayed peacefully connected.

No struggle.

No clenched fists.

No threats.

Just a conscious decision.

 

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