Wow! What a crazy thought! How could anyone enjoy their pain? And, as you think about it, how dare I say that!
Of course you would never wish for your struggle.
You’d do anything to get relief. I get it.
That’s what my clients protest to me all the time.
And yet, when they are faced with choices, solutions to their suffering, often they choose the same path that always brings them pain.
What does this mean, and why do we do it?
It’s simple. Sometimes it’s easier to do things that are wrong for us than to do things that are new.
Sometimes, the pain we know is more tolerable than the unknown. And often, because that new trail is so unfamiliar to us, we make all kinds of excuses to keep our pain.
You know: I’m working on it! Really! Just as soon as I have more time, I will change this darn habit.
Or when I finish the project. Or when the kids are out of the house. Or when my mother gets better.
But in the meantime, you’re miserable.
You begin to stop seeing the big picture. Your story about your discomfort keeps you complaining, struggling and feeling bad.
Does this sound a little like a lose/lose situation?
It certainly can be.
It seems that the more whatever it is we are doing gets to be an ingrained habit, the very thought of doing something different sends us into a tailspin.
We don’t ‘have time’ to even think about a solution. Or every solution sounds like too much work to us.
Here’s the thing:
We all have the ability to get used to our pain. Even at the same time that we wish it to be gone.
We get used to the same old struggle, and the same old promises that we will never do ‘that’ again.
But maybe the truth is that it takes discomfort to get out of discomfort. It takes thinking in a new way, and doing things in a different way to get new results.
And doing and thinking differently will be uncomfortable. Simply because it’s new.
The discomfort of the new thing doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It doesn’t mean back away! It just means you have some learning to do.
Give the new way a try. And keep doing the new thing. Keep thinking the new thoughts.
And eventually, they will become old and worn like that comfy blankie you’ve been carrying around. But with one big difference.
They will be good for you. And once the discomfort is gone, you’ll feel good.
You need to go through that uncomfortable period. It’s unavoidable.
To avoid it leaves you with permanent pain. To go through it leaves you with temporary pain.
Which do you choose?